Friday, March 18, 2005

The Crying Bum

Lazy people - see the abridged version at the bottom of the post.

There's a homeless man that hangs out near the incredibly high quality apartment complex I live in. The incredibly high quality apartment quality in between 2 strip clubs and a whorehouse. The incredibly high quality apartment complex inbetween the 2 strip clubs and whorehouse in an incredibly high quality part of town.

I have a covered parking space right next to the dumpsters. That just rocks. I came home from work the other day and heard this noise that sounded like a lost kitty with a severed limb or other equally painful injury and once I started looking for it, I noticed that it wasn't a kitty at all. The homeless man who lives behind the dumpster was crying! He was in a little ball between the fence and the dumpster sobbing uncontrollably.

Usually when I see people crying, I want to help. But honestly this freaked. me. the. fuck. out. Like when you are watching a scary movie and the little boy opens his mouth and sounds like a cat and then he opens his eyes and they are all black. Like that. I could feel all the breath I had taken in just waiting to exhale as a scream and I ran my ass to my apartment and locked the door.

Abridged Version: I saw a crying bum and it scared me and I ran inside.

7 Comments:

Blogger Sir Craig of Highbury said...

You have such a potty-mouth Crystal! But, thank you for the abridged version... perhaps next we should have a clean version and dirty version? Think of the children.

1:43 PM  
Blogger Astrid said...

Haha .. yeah, I think I would have probably done the same, it does make me feel rather cruel and heartless though.

11:59 PM  
Blogger Thomas said...

Somewhere there is a blog where the crying bum describes a girl who runs away from him.

I bet his blog also has comments from bizarro versions of sir craig of highbury, astrid, and me.

8:25 AM  
Blogger Sir Craig of Highbury said...

Yes Thomas, and in this bizarro world I would be called Sir Craig of Tottenham and instead of sexylovepits driving a white Mustang her chariot would be a black Corvette.

5:09 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

A black corvette indeed.

10:42 AM  
Blogger Thomas said...

touche!

4:38 PM  
Blogger Sir Craig of Highbury said...

... no, I would be known as scum of Tottenham... never Sir Craig or even Sir scum!

6:44 AM  

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