Mr. Bob Harris, don't touch me! Just lip my stockings! Oh no, Mr. Harris! Oh no! Help! Help!
So I am going to refer back to Markis' comment about women being indecisive. I am so sorry for all you men who have to deal with women like me.
The Shoe Boy and I had coffee the other night. Well, we went to a coffee bar and actually wound up drinking RedStripe so inhibitions were down when he told me he was "crushing" on me. What? Crushing? I told him not to use that word. Say "digging" or something. If you remember, this is the guy that my MIND connected with his MIND and all that bullshit. He is cool and would make a wonderful boyfriend, but there is no. freaking. way. I am getting into a relationship right now. I don't even care if Jake Gyllenhaal himself (we just saw Brokeback Mountain last night) wanted me to be his sole piece of ass, I would have to say no. I would still let him throw me around a little bit (of course), but as for commitment - well, it's hard for me to even type that word. I am not going to do anything with Shoe Boy because I know how people start getting all cow-eyed and that makes me want to puke.
On the other hand, I get pissed when a guy doesn't call me back. And I don't even call boys (with the exception of this 1 time). I don't chase them. I don't drop by their house. I don't act like I even like them most of the time. Even though I don't want anything with a certain guy, freaking. call. me. back.
So I am in the middle here. I want someone to lip my stocking without actually touching me. Is this possible?
The Shoe Boy and I had coffee the other night. Well, we went to a coffee bar and actually wound up drinking RedStripe so inhibitions were down when he told me he was "crushing" on me. What? Crushing? I told him not to use that word. Say "digging" or something. If you remember, this is the guy that my MIND connected with his MIND and all that bullshit. He is cool and would make a wonderful boyfriend, but there is no. freaking. way. I am getting into a relationship right now. I don't even care if Jake Gyllenhaal himself (we just saw Brokeback Mountain last night) wanted me to be his sole piece of ass, I would have to say no. I would still let him throw me around a little bit (of course), but as for commitment - well, it's hard for me to even type that word. I am not going to do anything with Shoe Boy because I know how people start getting all cow-eyed and that makes me want to puke.
On the other hand, I get pissed when a guy doesn't call me back. And I don't even call boys (with the exception of this 1 time). I don't chase them. I don't drop by their house. I don't act like I even like them most of the time. Even though I don't want anything with a certain guy, freaking. call. me. back.
So I am in the middle here. I want someone to lip my stocking without actually touching me. Is this possible?
posted by Crystal at 9:31 AM
12 Comments:
You could rig up a stick with a smiley face on the end for the lucky guy. This might satisfy both needs of intimacy and space. Hope it goes well for you.
there's not one person out there who wouldn't tremendously benefit from "dealing" with someone like you. telling it like it is, you are queen and should never forget it! your king is out there, confidently living a productive life, doing things that are good, waiting for you.
grunt...and what would i do with this stick?
anonymous, thank you.
If nothing else...thanks for reminding me of Lost In Translation....I love that movie!!
Ramon
I don't know if this is the guy that stood you up, Crystal, but if it is you could use the stick to thump him. Every thump should be accompanied with, "Have a nice day!"
This word verification smut continues. It just gave me this one: dongzw.
Shoe Boy and the guy that stood me up are two different people. I don't think Shoe Boy would never stand me up because he's not that way.
he is the way that is sweet and caring and considerate. what way are you?
You probably dashed the hopes of a few dozen guys hoping you were ready to, uh, crush.
I love Red Stripe. The squat little bottles make me feel like I'm hardly drinking anything.
jackass! great...sounds like the type i go for. :P
red stripe does rock, but the bottle reminds me of the bottles that monkey's blood came in when i was little so everytime i drink red stripe i am reminded of a skinned knee or busted lip. good times.
Crystal
I had never thought of Red Stripe like that..but then again I only drank it a few times before I stopped with the booze.
I do hope you make it down this weekend. I would like to reconnect our friendship. It's been many many years. I always enjoyed hanging out with you...and for those dudes that can't stand that your a little "off". fuck them!
Ramon
Was he holding up two fingers and squinting so that, from his perspective, it looked like he was squishing your head when he said he was "crsuhing" on you? Was he talking in a pro wrestler voice?
"I am crushing on you, woman! Wooooo!"
Otherwise... CRUSHING on you? Where did he learn English?
chris...i dunno but it reminds me of that song "i'm not a playa i jus crush a lot" and it bothers me. if he would have crushed my head, i could handle it.
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