Here I Go Again...

So, as I mentioned before, I decided not to see any boys from the Internet. Most of the guys that contacted me prior to my profile change started their emails, Hello. I saw your profile and I feel that we have a lot in common. I know your cut off age is 35, but I am a young looking 60. I like romantic walks on the beach and candlelight dinners. I make 6 figures and I have absolutely no personality whatsoever blahblahblahblah. Who wants to date that?

Then there were the cut and paste emails that they sent to every girl. Those are wonderful. Sometimes I would receive the same email from the same guy in same week who forgot he cut and pasted his boring-ass email to me several times already.

So I changed my profile. This guy, Nate, contacted me. He caught my interest with the following response:

Crystal,I just thought I would take a minute to make an attempt at matching your profile with my own. So here we go, hope you enjoy.

I am an insecure, self-motivated, egotistical asshole who only looks out for himself. I hate walks in the park, thunderstorms, days at the beach (fuck a bunch of sand), baseball games, and most of all dogs.I talk about myself all the time because I am so awesome.

I believe that you should never have to buy a watch for a woman because there is always a clock on the oven.You couldn't pry the remote out of my hand with a jackhammer and I like foot massages while I watch CNN.

I stay out all night long with my friends and I never call to say that I will be late.

On Sunday morning I will probably roll over to you and offer the following words of comfort, "eggs scrambled, bacon crispy, pancakes fluffy, fresh-squeezed orange juice, and the newspaper, wake me up when you are done."

So Nate and I have been emailing each other and we decided to meet up tonight. I will let you all know how it goes.

Mike Update: Friday night’s date went very well. I will post about that later, probably. We have a 3rd date scheduled for Wednesday. I am starting to get nervous though. I’ll probably be getting rid of him soon before I do something stupid, like start a relationship.

I started another blog solely devoted to my dates, but I am keeping it quiet because I go into incredible detail about everything and I am sure most of you (not to mention my mother) don’t want to read about my sexual escapades. It’s not a beat-off manual, fellas. I tend to make fun of you as much as possible. I am also worried about what you people will think of me. I am a good person, I promise. If you want the address, let me know and I’ll see what I can shake out. I’ll only give it to you if you think (and I agree) that you can handle it and you are not going to get all offended and flip out and call me dirty names.