Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Sometimes people are funny and you don't even know it

For example, I have this friend and he is funny, but he doesn't act like he is funny. He is also a blogger. I am going to keep him anonymous because I think his readers would be disappointed to know he hangs out with someone like the love pits. I recently visited his house to watch Animal House. He has a very cool place and lots of plans for it. He has a turquoise accent wall which I think is awesome, but then he told me he wants to extend it to another big wall. Men. It’s an accent wall, for crying out loud! I teased him about being gay but this made me realize how straight he was. That and the big chubby in my ear.

Subject line of email: Hey Pookie

Me: I prefer schmookie pookins next time.

He: You'll get what I give you and like it.

Me: You going to paint me turquoise and slap me up in your living room?

He: I think a more artistic treatment would just be to dip your tiddies and stencil the walls with 'em.

Me: That's so unoriginal. Do you know how many men have my breasts painted on their wall? You're going to have to come up with something better than that.

He: I thought that the difference was that for once it wouldn't say "for a good time, call..." next to them.

Me: Is THAT how you got my number?

He: Yes, and I'm considering suing somebody for false advertising. "Good time" indeed. :(

Me: I rocked your world. Don't lie.

He: I'm still surprised that you managed to fall asleep with my chubby in your ear. Not that you'd be the first girl to fall asleep on me, but I am thankful you never asked HOW your zipper got undone.

Me: Omg. My zipper WAS undone! Is ear a euphamism for another body part these days or what?

He: God I love roofies. Doesn't explain why you called me Andrew in the middle of it though. :(

Side Note: Andrew is my boss.

Me: Don't worry honey, I call all of my men Andrew. Did I get a raise? Also, I am pregnant. The kid painted my entire uterus turquoise. I am assuming he belongs to you.

He: Couldn't be mine. According to you I'm gay.

Me: I get more play from gay guys than I do straight guys.
He: Yeah, not making me feel better. I think the only thing at this point is to come over and get naked. Don't worry, it'll be over quickly and you'll barely break a sweat.


Blogger Logophile said...

I understand that is the hottest possible shade for internal organs this year, I am having my spleen done next week.
Funny friends are the BEST!

5:38 PM  
Blogger jules said...

Don't worry, it'll be over quickly and you'll barely break a sweat.---yeah, that ought to make you want to do the guy.

6:38 PM  
Blogger ekki said...

I know who that was.

7:36 PM  
Blogger tinyhands said...

As someone on the "I Like You For Your Ass" list, I think you should do all your friends, just to be on the safe side.

8:50 PM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

Well, huh. Dick in the ear? I'll have to try that sometime on myself. Nantucket Kid!

12:03 AM  
Blogger Kieran said...

Your emails are too witty, and you're having too much fun. Stop it, it isn't fair.

1:58 AM  
Blogger Clearlykels said...

now that is a fabulous e-mail exchange. That would definitely make the work day go by quicker.

6:06 AM  
Blogger Scott said...

That is some good times for sure.


6:10 AM  
Blogger Ashley said...

Oh! Your pregnant with a...painter?


8:51 AM  
Blogger Celeste said...

much more interesting than the emails I normally get!

10:08 PM  
Blogger Anthony S. said...

I like euphemisms. They leave nothing to the overimaginative.

12:12 AM  

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