I Always Start Out Nice
I am of the belief that it is never nice to yell at people who can help you.
I have had problems with my cell phone company for the past forever. When I call customer service, I usually get transferred to at least 4 people and disconnected several times and then, when I am irritated because I have to explain the story to 8 different incredibly dense people, I get people telling me “Relax, ma’am. Just take it easy.”
Me: I am calling because your website is not accepting payments. May I please pay through you?
He: So you are calling because our website is not accepting payments and you would like to pay through me.
Me: Yes.
Silence
Me: Hello?....Hello?...Jesus Chri-
He: I am here. Just sit back and relax. So what is the billing address for your credit card?
Me: 123 ABC St.
He: So you are telling me the billing address for your credit card is 123 ABC St?
Me: Yes
He: That is not the address we have. We have 789 Imcompletelyincompetent St. Is this correct?
Me: No. That is two addresses ago. I have already changed my address with you guys at least 5 times.
He: So you have already changed your address with us several times?
Me: Yes
Silence
Me: Hello?...Hello??? ….HELLO?
He: I’m here. Just relax…go with the flow.
After 20 minutes on the phone of him repeating everything I said and intermittently playing the Is-he-there? Game, I was on the edge of my seat. I finally got my credit card information through to him even though he suggested several times that I need to call my bank and get the billing address changed to 789 Imcompletelyincompetent St.
Jackass.
When we were wrapping up the call, he tells me:
Ma’am, in the future, please feel free to use our online bill pay for faste-
Me: That is the reason I am calling – because your online bill pay is down.
However, since I interrupted his sentence, he had to read it again in true robot fashion.
He: Ma’am, in the future, please feel free to use our online bill pay for faster service.
Sometimes, when I lose it, instead of blowing up, I laugh. It is not a normal laugh. It is a maniacal gut laugh that implies that if I could reach you, I would surely disembowel you and then play nude in your intestines.
He: Relax, ma’am. Take it easy.
I have had problems with my cell phone company for the past forever. When I call customer service, I usually get transferred to at least 4 people and disconnected several times and then, when I am irritated because I have to explain the story to 8 different incredibly dense people, I get people telling me “Relax, ma’am. Just take it easy.”
Me: I am calling because your website is not accepting payments. May I please pay through you?
He: So you are calling because our website is not accepting payments and you would like to pay through me.
Me: Yes.
Silence
Me: Hello?....Hello?...Jesus Chri-
He: I am here. Just sit back and relax. So what is the billing address for your credit card?
Me: 123 ABC St.
He: So you are telling me the billing address for your credit card is 123 ABC St?
Me: Yes
He: That is not the address we have. We have 789 Imcompletelyincompetent St. Is this correct?
Me: No. That is two addresses ago. I have already changed my address with you guys at least 5 times.
He: So you have already changed your address with us several times?
Me: Yes
Silence
Me: Hello?...Hello??? ….HELLO?
He: I’m here. Just relax…go with the flow.
After 20 minutes on the phone of him repeating everything I said and intermittently playing the Is-he-there? Game, I was on the edge of my seat. I finally got my credit card information through to him even though he suggested several times that I need to call my bank and get the billing address changed to 789 Imcompletelyincompetent St.
Jackass.
When we were wrapping up the call, he tells me:
Ma’am, in the future, please feel free to use our online bill pay for faste-
Me: That is the reason I am calling – because your online bill pay is down.
However, since I interrupted his sentence, he had to read it again in true robot fashion.
He: Ma’am, in the future, please feel free to use our online bill pay for faster service.
Sometimes, when I lose it, instead of blowing up, I laugh. It is not a normal laugh. It is a maniacal gut laugh that implies that if I could reach you, I would surely disembowel you and then play nude in your intestines.
He: Relax, ma’am. Take it easy.
posted by Crystal at 2:21 PM
5 Comments:
Okay, now I can do a voodoo doll of this guy for you, Chica. Please, just this once?
What is it with phone companies??? I am having problems getting my dad's name off of my bill. He has never had anything to do with this number, I even changed my address but for the last year and a half I have not been able to get his name off of the bill. It is driving me nuts. If I were good at lying, I would make up some fabulous story so they felt sorry for me and would get his name off of my bill.
Ah - I have worked customer service, but I hear your complaints loud and clear.
I'm sorry that happened to you.
Why don't people listen when you're telling them important info?
Some of the real people are worse than the recordings
"Sometimes, when I lose it, instead of blowing up, I laugh. It is not a normal laugh. It is a maniacal gut laugh that implies that if I could reach you, I would surely disembowel you and then play nude in your intestines."
I'm glad I went back and read your past entries..you're on a roll (However, I would not like to hear that laugh).
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