Monday, July 02, 2007

The Hair

1. Alright, Niolk. Here is the picture on my passport.

  • I don't really look like Michael Jackson's cock (Mr. Hands), but I guess when they scanned the picture, my forhead and cheeks decided they wanted to upstage the rest of my face and dropped into the I'M WHITE! mode while the rest of my face sat around and watched Sit and Be Fit and ate cheese. That didn't make any sense. So? Like you're so perfect.

  • I do have my horrible haircut in this picture, but I did try my very best to superglue my bangs underneath the rest of my hair. It was very difficult and it only stayed for the 5 seconds it took to shoot the pic.

  • I am still amazed at the sheer width of my face everytime I see a picture of myself.

2. Here is the picture of my BANGS! in all their glory. The look longer than they actually are in this picture. I try to put them back, but they are in my face again in 20 minutes. I hate these bastard BANGS! They are The Suck.

3. horrays for drugs!


Blogger heatherfeather said...

um, hello, even with bangs and stuff, you're boomin' hot. and lovely, and funny. i likes you.

10:28 AM  
Blogger blog Portland said...

Crushing you isn't nearly as fun when you concede like that, but I'll take it.

Speaking as someone who has viewed both your picture and Michael Jackson's ivory shaft, let me assure you that the similarities between them are marginal at best.

10:30 AM  
Blogger Ryan said...

I haven't seen bangs that obscene since the Debbie Gibson Electric Youth Tour.

That white light on your face is in the shape of a Triforce which leads me to believe that you are Princess Zelda

11:44 AM  
Blogger NiolK said...

Ah what are ye like, thats a grand photo. After you got my hopes up for a car wreck.

You should see my passport pic I look like an international drug dealer/paedophile.

12:49 PM  
Blogger bryan torre said...

i don't think it's bad at all. i think just go with it -- wear your bangs with pride, or whatever. think of it: a new sexy hairstyle, and showing your white legs all in the same year... :-)

1:44 PM  
Blogger Thomas said...

I had my money on Blog Portland all the way.

5:08 PM  
Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

Speaking of complete pussies, show us a picture of yours!

6:13 PM  
Blogger Clearlykels said...

That is no where near a bad passport photo!! Ha ha, my sister got some horrible ones this year.

5:29 AM  
Blogger tinyhands said...

Well-hell-hell, look who thinks the world, including Michael Jackson's cock, revolves around her. I said that the POSTER looked like Michael Jackson's cock, with a brown shaft and white head. Not that YOU look like Michael Jackson's cock. And yes, I'm tempted to write Michael Jackson's cock one more time. Yay me!

6:13 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

aw, heather, you should totally be my girlfriend.

jay - i'm easy.

ryan - Triforce lol i nearly peed

niolk - POST IT

bryan - my legs aren't white anymore. they're peach!

thomas - thanks a lot, jackass. we'll see who tries to get you to do pro bono work for them anymore.

dick - that is so last year. here is a picture of my pussy.

kels - it's not so bad, i guess. but i think ryan has a point with the whole princess zelda thing.

hands - i know you were posting about the picture. but that got me thinking about michael jackson's cock in the first place. surely you know that his penis is the color of a chocolate and vanilla swirl cone (and not completely brown like the doodoofeces in the picture). and my face is like a chocolate and vanilla swirl cone. see where i am going? and for your information, the world, including michael jackson's cock, does indeed revolve around me.

6:25 AM  
Blogger Kylee said...

If you don't like your bangs - don't worry they will grow fast and I sure you still look beautiful with your bangs not superglued.

12:10 PM  
Blogger One Step From the Edge said...

The passport picture isn't that bad, promise.

The bangs picture, well, I'm sorry.

10:24 AM  
Blogger goldennib said...

I thought those pictures looked good, too.

11:11 AM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

Dang bangs!

This is the best way to look at air travel: asleep in your seat. Don't get too drunk, k?

12:31 AM  
Blogger Photogirl said...

Personally, I like bangs. But then, I'm biased. (truth be told, when my stylist wanted to give me bangs I was like "hells no!" but I caved and I do get compliments on them.) Anyway, the big question is, what did your man say about them?!

10:51 AM  

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