Thursday, August 23, 2007

You can tell him that I'm waiting...

1. I am ok now. I'm tired of trying. I give up. I can't live my life trying to please everyone. I'm done. If it happens again, I'm gone. And I don't need any of this. I don't need this stuff, and I don't need you. I don't need anything except this ashtray and that's it and that's the only thing I need; just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball. And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one. The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. And this! And that's all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.

2. Tired of The Jerk yet?

3. I was browsing Youtube a couple of months ago and wanted to post a speific video I found so that you could all see what I saw. I can't find it! And I will probably get fired for even looking for it. See what I go through for you people? See?? Anyhow, Heather and I were discussing fetishes and she told me about how in Japan, there is a huge subculture of men that like to accidentally on purpose grope women's breasts on the public transportation system. I was shocked. and it made me want to move to Japan. So it reminded me of these videos I stumbled upon. I started watching it because the guy was kind of hot. He was smoking a cigarette all sexual-like. I probably would have been slightly aroused if it wasn't for the fact that he was totally getting the filter all wet and it is no fun to take a drag after someone who makes out with the cigarette first. Anyhow, I was intrigued at first and then I was all heeeeey, where is his right hand?? and then after another minute, I was all his right shoulder is certainly movi-- HOLYSHITBALLS he is totally wacking it!!! No wonder he was slobbering uncontrollably all over that stogie. So I looked at the tags and it said something like "gay smoke cigarette fetish sex leather". I didn't think the video would be hard to find (so I could post it here), but when I went to youtube, there are over 3,000 of these kinds of videos and I couldn't find my favorite gay again. Too bad for you. I know you were hungry for some gay smoking while jacking off action. You sick bastard.


Blogger blog Portland said...

I'll trade you all that stuff for this Thermos.

12:17 PM  
Blogger Christie said...

How about I bake you something so that you won't get sick from all the ciggies?

12:41 PM  
Blogger Ryan said...

Umm that fetish isn't only limited to Japan. At least 3 times a week get a severe and somewhat comforting anal fingering while riding the subway.

I will try to get a video for you, but it's hard for me to maintain a grip on a camera when someones wedding band is scraping the insides of my colon.

12:48 PM  
Blogger heatherfeather said...

there really are some days when i think i'd be happier without the webbernets...

aw, shucks who am i kidding? i could never leave the webbernets...

1:19 PM  
Blogger Photogirl said...

Exactly. Who needs PEOPLE when you've got a kick ass collection of STUFF like that!

11:17 PM  
Blogger goldennib said...

So much to choose from here...where to begin...where to begin...?

2:14 AM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

The Jerk is a movie I will never tire of.

I hope that you were just reciting your favorite lines from that movie.

Cigarettes are bad.

Jerking off in public and videotaping it is Superbad.

8:35 AM  
Blogger Jerrster said...

Grope Train Ride

Japan is one crazy place.

11:46 AM  

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