Monday, April 07, 2008

It's About That Time

We had us a crawfish berl this weekend. We went through 120 pounds of crawdads.

I am just going to say right now that my friends are awesome. They are great people and I am a very lucky girl. Even though when I passed out, Ham farted in my face. I have been walking around for the past two days faintly smelling like refried beans and tamales. Luckily, it was well documented as there was much picture taking of this particular event and no I am not going to post it here. So you get pictures of happier times.

Also, I got stuck in the bathroom. The lock broke so I called Ryan and he came to get me out and then I called my dad (who also attended) and all I heard was static (which was actually just his smoker laugh) so I thought my phone was messed up and exclaimed “motherfucker!” only to then realize that my dad was still listening to me and thought I was calling him a motherfucker instead of my phone. I tried to tell him it was true. I mean, he does have sex with my mother, right? And my dad gave me the look and Ryan said, “Crystal, you should really eat something.” But I was too busy drinking.

I invited one of my friends’ brothers. He is super nice and we work in the same industry and he keeps me in mind when it comes to new positions at his work. We had a conversation like this:

Me: Thanks so much for keeping me in mind for jobs! I would love to work for Chevron! They treat women so well and they have 9/80’s! My friend works for Chevron and she loves it. I want to work there so bad! Chevron even has those ergonomic desks that move up and down, right?
He: I wouldn’t know. I work for ConocoPhillips.
Ryan: Crystal, you should really eat something.

But I was too busy drinking.

I also freaking killed with my impression of Miss Landmine 2008.

I am sure people cannot WAIT to hang out with me again because I am such a good person. In addition to this, I also rapped to some Ice Cube and announced that was my favorite Doing-It song. Then I shoved a Frito pie into my face and passed out on the couch. I was such a lovely hostess.


Blogger j-me said...

It was THEBEST party i've been to in a long time...and YOU made it that way!! Love you girl!

refriend beans and i'll have a preconceived "smell" of ham that i won't be able to get out of my head next time i see him. i bet i sniff him a little, just to see.

1:46 PM  
Blogger Just Jamie said...

I made the blog! Now I'm famous!!!

You were the bestest most adorable drunk hostess I've ever partied with:)

I witnessed the Chevron conversation. Funny stuff.

7:34 PM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

I think there's a Farrelly Brothers comedy in this post somewhere. It has nothing to do with being drunk, stuck in a bathroom, and calling your dad a motherfucker on accident.

12:15 AM  
Blogger Curly said...

I love the miss Landmine impression.

Parties need drunk hostesses like you Crystal, it makes them more memorable. There's nothing better than re-telling drunken friend stories years later.

4:25 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

j-me - thank you so much, but i think you're opinion may be skewed considering all of that caffiene free green soda you were drinking! :) you would think ham would smell like pork, but noooooo....he smells like mexican.

jamie - i am so embarrassed. thank you so much for coming! it was awesome to see you! i wish i knew more single guys!!

grunt - i think you are right. welcome to my life. it can only be considered a comedy to people who don't have to deal with me though.

curly - you should have come. we would have got pissed together!

6:43 AM  
Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Awesome! Looks like a very good time! I love that you announced your favorite Doing-IT song. I've been thinking about posting a list of those...

10:28 AM  
Blogger Clearlykels said...

Oh my gosh! I haven't been to a crawfish boil in YEARS!! Definitely have not been since I've been allowed to drink. Beer makes everything better.

It looks like an awesome time. I've very sad I wasn't in Texas to crash!

9:40 AM  
Blogger Marnee said...

Working for Chevron really is awesome. But so is ConocoPhillips. Just sayin.

3:10 PM  

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