Tuesday, April 29, 2008

ok....so....

Being the weird kid I was, I took joy in making a spectacle of myself and would sometimes pretend I was an old lady or an elephant and regale children with memorized prose and terrible accents. Surprisingly, I won several awards from that even though in retrospect some of the stories I told were completely tasteless. I also did “the dog” in the stands while on the dance team and got banned from three whole football games. My parents were sure proud.

I have to give a presentation in a couple of weeks to a group of men who made my male boss burst into tears at a previous meeting. Nowadays I am terrified of speaking even in small meetings, so I got this to put in my office as a source of inspiration from ponderingpool.com:




I love it and am spending lots of time pointing it out to people who really don’t give a shit or get it. One of the higher ups came in my office today and examined the picture for a few minutes and then asked me, “Why don’t you just buy different shoes?” At first, I thought he was being metaphorical so I went along with it by saying “These are my only pair” and then he looked bewildered and was all “You were wearing red ones yesterday” and then I just sat there staring at him and then staring at the floor and then staring at him. Have you ever heard someone say something so off that you question your own intelligence? Surely I was missing something. Surely, I should be getting something here. Surely there is a punchline in there somewhere. I know I am not the snappiest twig on the tree, but he is at least 4 steps higher than me on the food chain! My work husband told me the other day that people like me never become managers. Thank God.

9 Comments:

Blogger Eric said...

Havn't you ever heard about "The Dilbert Principle". Which is the opposite of "The peter principle" ... But it's alive and well in corporate America. Problem is there isn't enough natural selection in our Lives anymore, So the Truly stupid, are so ignorant everything tends to slide off of them like water on a ducks back, as they tend to graze around like cattle, always just one step ahead of the wolves.... But somtimes that is just what some jobs need.

... But don't let that get to you.

Also, Many people live in such a concrete Realities(Which I refuse to make a judgment about, because those living in them are made so much of glass, that denying them that reality is dangerous.), that they don't get anything figurative. Or he was messing with you...

Ok.... But let me get to my point, You stole that image from me..... But the Beauty of it, is that it was/is perfect for you.... I'd like to think Was.
...
And it reminds me about the amazing the growth we/I have scene out of you over the past years..... Congratualtions!!! It is Very Amazing,. Keep it up ;)
...
We will get you on the Zen path of cessation of suffering, yet.

5:29 PM  
Blogger tinyhands said...

Is it because the shoes are pinchy? I'm sure that's it. Nobody likes pinchy shoes. Once, I had shoes and they were really pinchy and it made my toes cross and my mom said I was just complaining because I didn't want to go to church but I said they were pinchy and I'd just be thinking about my shoes instead of the God they pray to. I said, "You're supposed to say aaaa-men instead of owwww, me toes." But she made me go to church anyway and stand there in my pinchy shoes.

The picture is totally about pinchy shoes. I so get it. I'm with you.

6:21 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

eric - i think you are totally right. however, i also think that the world is run by engineers and while engineers may be book smart (and they can do lots and lots of hard math!), they can be dumb as a box of hammers when it comes to common sense or applying text book knowledge to real life situations. dude, i totally did not steal that image from you - if i did, i would have given you cred, yo. i discovered susan mrosek's work in college and my house is littered with her prints. however, it makes me really happy that you like her too. makes me wanna hug you. i have definitely done some growing up since i started this dumb thing and i am sure in 2 more years i will be looking back saying "oh gawd, did i write about bukake??" but it is all part of life, right?

hands - i knew you would get me. you always do. i hope your mom bought you some new shoes for this sunday and i hope she mashed on the toes really good in the store to make sure they were roomy enough.

6:50 AM  
Blogger Eric said...

I can easlily concede on this.. "I deny your reality, and substitute my own"...

Sorry, that is a recent theme.

Maybe, you pointed out her work and I saw that image and thought of you, and it's synergy(I hate that word, I'd say syncronicity..but that is lame too.)...
or You posted that image, and I re-aranged it in my head...

and Ya, how "undeveloped one was" only reflects on how great one has become.....

someone once said to me "As I get older... The only thing I seem to know, is that there seems to be so much more, that I didn't realize I do not know"
(still trying to figure out if that is a double negative)

7:27 AM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

I work with people that say "chimbely", "prostrate cancer" and "libary". These are not smart-dumb people, just dumb.

10:15 AM  
Anonymous V said...

People like you should never want to become managers...
But there I go pigeon-holing you into being something you're supposed to be and then by all means you shouldn't be because someone else told you not to be that exact thing, and then you will just sit there and argue with yourself until you enter a complete tailspin; ruining all chances of a fabulous career as the President and CEO of some fabulously horrible corporation in some part of the fabulously horrible world and there you'll be, be sitting in the dumpster of a movie theatre eating the floor-droppings of the patrons of the movie that was made of your life; a story of the once proud and strong-willed woman who only had one pair of shoes... Maybe.
Good luck with your presentation.

/V

11:21 AM  
Blogger AmyO said...

Maybe for your presentation you should pretend you're an old lady and do "the dog".

Oh, and wear your red shoes, men love red shoes.

Note to Grunt...I work with people who say "valentimes" and "axe" (instead of ask). dum.

1:07 PM  
Blogger pistols at dawn said...

I think the real problem here is that those kicks ain't fresh in any sense of the word. Dude needs some sweet high-top Reebok pumps.

3:05 PM  
Blogger Anthony S. said...

Management sucks ass. You're better than that bulls***.

Oh! You should definitely put on a fake accent and recite some memorized prose for your presentation. Probably better to not take them seriously, seeing as how they take themselves oh-so-seriously. I've always hated the crowd that stonewalls the presenter.

5:11 PM  

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