Monday, February 16, 2015

it's the thing to do when you win a world of warcraft tournament

I was going through some old drafts of stuff that never actually made it on my blog.  Found this...

Funny story about my old neighbor lady. Some of you might think it is funny. The rest of you are super uptight. We have an across the street neighbor who is Hispanic. He was going to have a party so he was knocking on doors letting the neighbors know. He went to our next door neighbor’s house and her grandkids answered the door. The neighbor lady screams out “Who is it?” and the kids scream back “IT’S A MEXICAN!” so the lady summons her grandkids and they return and hand him a check for $300. That is Texas for you.

I read about this 13 year old Texas kid named Ralph the other day who stole his Dad’s credit card and spent $30,000 on video games and prostitutes. I found one paragraph to be particularly hilarious:

Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a "World of Warcraft" tournament. They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them.
The $1,000 a night girls sensing something up played "Halo" on the Xbox with the kids, instead of selling their sexual services.
Ralph's ambition is to one day become a politician.

6 Comments:

Blogger The Grunt said...

I was wondering where you went. I had to quit doing jigsaw puzzles altogether because it was turning me into a hermit.

I should ask a prostitute if I can get a freebie/discount because of the cancer. No, I really shouldn't do that. I don't need anymore disease or trouble in my life.

7:55 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

oh, Ralph is WELL on his way to becoming a politician!!!

puzzles are cool...so is blogging! hint hint! ;)

4:08 PM  
Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

I used to do puzzles to work my way through break-ups. I love that as a thirty-something, I can pluralize the trashing of my heart so accurately!

That Ralph kids is funny as hell.

I'm on my way to pirate party...I look like I fucked a costume jewelry box. :-)

6:42 PM  
Blogger bronxbt said...

dunno if i ever told you, but i lost my wife to world of warcraft - or WoW as it's referred to in the chat forums.

yup, i introduced her to the gawddamned game almost 4 years ago, and she quickly became a slave to it's tempting ways. WE played in a group "guild" for a long time, then i began to realize that we didn't/couldn't even TALK to one another unless it was throught the 'chat' (and yet we sat right... across.. from each other)

3 years later, she's one of the most well known characters online via 3 different servers... she's the highest level possible, has all these "rare" items, etc., and yet she chose a game over being with her husband.

hmmm. good choice? i dunno. i know i'm happier tho. i'll take a puzzle now over an online game ANY DAY tho. while i do enjoy my Wii with friends, and even my blu-ray player (i mean PS3)

screw online games. stick to living life through your eyes, luv., never through an online avatar.. k?

*hugz and puppy dawgs*

b

8:16 AM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

I like the way you say "testicle".

12:19 AM  
Blogger Neal said...

I'm with you on not being able to wait to see where the fingernail pops up again.

12:37 PM  

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