Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Oh, so that's what it takes...

I have been having hell getting this Branch Manager to call me back at Prosperity Bank. She has dicked me around for a month, telling me that she didn't know if the surgery loan I applied for would be approved* and I still haven't received my dumb debit card (which is the key to my financial stability) that I reported lost on March 27th. I have called in the morning, I have called in the afternoon and in the evening. I have left urgent messages. I have even threatened to take my account away and she has yet to return a phone call. She did, however, get one of her employees to call and do it for her. Poor lady.

Crystal: You mean to tell me that she had YOU call because she didn't want me yelling at HER? I thought she had poor customer service skills, but this really says something about her managerial skills as well. I find it incredibly funny that I can come in to apply for a loan and she will inundate me with stories for my my entire lunch hour about her heavy periods due to her fibroid cysts and how she is fasting because God wants us to (apparently God wants us to purchase carrot juice from some website and drink only that very carrot juice for 3 weeks at a time) and how I should do it too, but she cannot call me back to talk about my account?!
Poor Lady: Teehee. She told you about her period too?

So I wrote a letter. I did not include the "I just soaked through 3 Super-Plus Tampax in an hour" or the whole bit about purchasing the Jesus Juice and drinking broccoli smoothies so I can go to Heaven because, come on, that is just embarassing. Everyone at the branch I was dealing with conveniently "forgot" who her boss was, so I faxed the letter to the President of all of their branches in the Houston area.

Guess who just called? I told her I was busy.

*Ham approved my loan over the phone in less than 5 minutes.


Blogger heatherfeather said...

you sho' know how to tear shit up.

good for you!

2:54 PM  
Blogger Nessa said...

God told me personally that carrot juice is out. He now prefers that we consume beer with whiskey chasers. He says we are too stressed and getting on his nerves.

4:07 PM  
Blogger Gooner Craig said...

Funny you should mention God, He and I were having boiler-makers at 0630 this morning.

4:37 PM  
Blogger Vera said...

in the famous words of metallica:

Kill 'Em All!

Very happy to hear that you *finally* got Aunt Flow to call you back. The bish!


6:31 PM  
Blogger Scott said...

Effen banks!! i hate them all...


8:44 PM  
Blogger kari said...

goldennib totally has the right idea.

8:49 PM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

At least Hambone came through for you. As for the other stuff, that bank manager sounds like she's on the outs. Those are times where I wish I could challenge people to a duel.

10:12 PM  
Blogger Chief Scientist said...

You are the angriest chick ever. Maybe you menstruated all over some important paperwork and that is why they didn't call you back?

P.S. Just kidding about that 'angriest chick' comment. Babs Streisand is way angier than you.

P.P.S. And you spell better.

10:13 PM  
Blogger Kimberly said...

ewwww- i HATE bank bullshit! i think they all suck, i haven't found a bank yet that is truly "good."

my cousin works for a bank, probably one of the biggest bank companines in the country... and he LOOKS at our families accounts! i heard him around his birthday saying he knew how much his parents spent on him because he saw the stores and such that they purcahsed things at. yeah-- NO THANK YOU i don't want my lame-o cousin looking at my account. grrrrrrr..... i don't want my cousin knowing that i once charged a pack of gum on my credit card 'cause i didn't have the change.

6:07 AM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

Yes! Hell hath no fury and all that. I may need your help dealing with the people issuing my student loans...

8:33 AM  
Blogger Kimberly said...

crystal! blue steel is mentioned on this website... hilarious!

9:10 AM  

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