Thursday, August 15, 2019

Day 2

We are going to Day 2.  Day 1 was spent blankly staring at and clicking on the fb and IG icons on my phone, only to have them ask for a login and remind me that I am no longer connected to the world of the living.  GRIM AF, YOU GUYS.

Day 2 I decided I was gonna prank call some mfs.  The first one went off beautifully.  It went like this:

Person: Hello
Me: Knock Knock
Person: Who's there?
Me: To
Person: To Who?
Me: Actually, it's "To Whom"

and then I laughed pretty much uncontrollably in their ear, slammed the phone down and rubbed my hands together.  OOOOOOOO I got them so good.  

I immediately got a text: Did you just call me?


Since my favorite joke went so smoothly the first time, I decided to do it again, but this time target someone who I have never spoken with on the phone.  Her name is Danielle and I work out with her.  We also work for the same company so tracking down her number was pretty easy.  She has also called me a shitbag a couple of times so I figured she'd be a good one.  It went like this:

Danielle: Hello
Me: Knock knock
Danielle: Huh?
Me: Kock knock
Danielle: Who's there?
Me: To
Danielle: TO???
Me:  Yes, to.
Danielle:  TO???
Me: Ugh. Do you know how a knock knock joke works?? Knock Knock
Danielle: Ugh.  Who's there?
Me: To
Danielle (obviously irritated): TO. TO WHO?
Me: Actually it's "To Whom"

And then I hung up.  It did not go smoothly.  At all.  I'm probably going to get reported to HR.
But maybe she wouldn't recognize my voice, right? I mean, she's pretty much only heard me cackling and grunting at work outs so there is, like, no way she is going to know that was me.

I showed up at bootcamp that night and while I was walking up, still 30' from me, she yelled out, "HEY SHITBAG! Did you call me today???"

I hate my voice.

UPDATE:  I made it to fb, y'all.  Without even being on fb, y'all.


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