Wednesday, November 03, 2004

WWJD? (What would Jared Do?)

I am blogging today about an unfortunate experience at my local Subway sandwich shop. The manager there apparently decided he wanted to eat me fresh and gave me a dollar with my change that read "You look so good today, And ass is nice, Nice big t**s, Wanna f*** buddy" and he signed his name (Josh) and his phone number. So today, Stephanie and I went to lunch at Subway and I asked his name and wouldn't you believe that was his name! After a lengthy conversation with Josh that consisted of him admitting he gave me the dollar and me calling him disgusting and expressing my deepest sympathy for his wife and my concern for the defacing of government property (which is a federal offense), we left. And! Stephanie only got 5 olives on her sandwich today! 5! I should call Subway and have them send over a jar of black olives in care of Stephanie in Human Resources.

Don't eat the mayonaise.

Bleh.

4 Comments:

Blogger Chris Cope said...

"Wanna f*ck buddy" -- those are the exact words I used to woo my wife. I'm surprised it didn't work on you -- perhaps you are suffering from sort of mental disorder.

7:55 AM  
Blogger Thomas said...

OPTION 1 - Is it possible that Josh gave you a dollar bill with that message already written on it by someone else who just also happened to be named Josh?

OPTION 2 - Does Subway not have a question on its employment application to screen out these type of guys?

12:28 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

hey thomas,

thanks for postin!

answer 1: i actually asked him if he gave it to me and he said yes.

answer 2: you would think that subway could screen these types of people - i don't think he is a sexual preditor or anything, maybe just immature - and those people are impossible to screen :)

6:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Chris!

Outstanding mano! I used that come on line with your wife too and before I could turn around, she'd shucked her drawers and had red toenails hi in the air!

Elegant John

www.retromex.com
www.truckingmonkey.com
www.johnthemonkey.com

3:28 PM  

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