Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Kid Language

I use curse words. A lot. In fact, I realized the other day that since fuck, shit, dickhead, and asshat have become part of my vocabulary, I rarely use any creative discription. I was with my eight year old nephew and I wanted to tell him to "quit fucking with me!", but I would have been tattled on, and then gotten the not-in-front-of-the-kids lecture. In my state of frustration, I couldn't think of a word that had the same effect as "fucking" so I just sat there and let him keep fucking with me.

When his brother is fucking with him, he will say something to the effect of "Fart on you, Alex. I don't even give a care!" This would not be an effective way for me to express myself in the adult world. Although, I am still reminded on a daily basis when I see a particular girl in the office, "She thinks she's hot snot on a silver platter, but she's really just a cold booger on a paper plate." How do kids come up with these things?? I mean, hot snot on a silver platter? That is much more descriptive than, "She thinks her shit don't stink." I would much rather think about her snot than her shit. And thinking of her as a cold booger really warms me heart. Dammit.


Blogger noisy ghost said...

Ooooh, I feel so dirty just reading this post.

Well, that and I'm watching Alias with the Jennifer Whatsername.

6:22 PM  
Blogger Alice said...

asshat? Nice.

12:33 AM  
Blogger jks_ said...

yes. asshat. nice one

12:50 PM  
Blogger kari said...

i was pretty excited to start using the phrase "no talent assclown," and now "asshat" has offered me that same kind of excitement. cheers!

11:56 AM  
Blogger Thomas said...

As long as you don't use this language in front of soon to be born niece.

10:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is probably hereditary. ps. tell your mom i said "fuck"
a.bomb con la f.bomb

7:35 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

will do! i am sure she will say "fuck" to you as well. i dread the day when you two sit down for a cup of coffee. i hope there are no children around.

my 3 year old niece actually told me she wasn't allowed to say the word "bitch" until she was 11.

2:34 PM  
Blogger Sir Craig of Highbury said...

I always enjoyed 'stupid head' or 'poo-poo head' when I was young. You may still find these words peppered in my vocabulary today.

4:48 PM  

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