Monday, February 21, 2005

Nut Washing

My friend, Stephanie, was driving downtown a few days ago and saw a bum on the street corner butt naked, spitting on a papertowel, and bathing his testicular area with it. I love me a man with good hygiene.

I am pissed. I always miss the good stuff. Or I get the bad - like this one time, my roommate and I were innocently walking down the sidewalk, when a fellow drove up and asked directions. As I started talking, my roommate turned abruptly and walked away leaving me there to eventually notice this man's glistening nubby cock hitting the steering wheel. I immediately became concerned for all the citizens of the small town I lived in and called 911. They caught him - he was a Hovaround salesman from Virginia. His lawyer called me (which happened to be a friend of mine) and our conversation went something like this:

Billy: So you say he exposed himself to you and your roommate

Me: Yep. He sure did.

Billy: He says he was on the way to Sewell Park to sunbathe

Me: He must have been very excited about sunbathing, and he made sure to coat his penis in oil.

Billy: He says he was wearing a thong.

Me: Well he must've had it on backwards.

Billy: So would you say he was saddle-bagging it?

Saddle-bagging it indeed.


Blogger noisy ghost said...

Man, our homeless people suck. They just walk around in clothes asking for gas money.

6:35 PM  

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