Monday, March 28, 2005

How to Communicate Appropriately Using Office Email

1. Instead of using the normal profanity like "fuck" and "shithead", leave spaces so it won't be intercepted by your company's profanity receptor. (Example: sh ith ead, fu ck)
NOTE: This will NOT work if you send the email to your boss and the entire staff (Ahem - Audrey)

2. Instead of blowjob, use the phrase "back scratching" and instead of intercourse use the phrase "do the dishes". For example, "He always makes me scratch his back before he does the dishes".

I am pretty sure these techniques work. However, if there is a sudden drop in my blog posting, that probably means that I am fired and you will soon be too if you have followed my advice.


Anonymous Old Horsetail Snake said...

I never understood the phrase "blowjob." Don't you draw on it, rather than blow? Doesn't it suck?

10:10 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

when i was younger, i thought blowjob was what one did to remove paint from a car.

i still don't understand it. it is very misleading.

11:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What did you think a rim-job was then??
I am still inclined to think a tossed salad is a bed of delicious evidently it can be if your not careful. eewww gross!

6:57 PM  

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