Friday, March 25, 2005


Al Edwards, a Democrat from Texas, wants to pass a state law that prohibits high school cheerleaders from "bumping and grinding" in a sexually suggestive manner. He's a Democrat. Cheerleaders are supposed to bump and grind. I remember learning how to do "the dog" at a football game in high school and getting called out for it by my dance team instructor. Apparently Mr. Edwards, a Democrat, is worried about these young boys being in such fits of sexual frustration from all this bumping and grinding that they convince their girlfriends to do it and then wind up getting them pregnant or catching a nasty case of herpes or the clap. I am sure that all of this stems purely from the teenagers thrusting their hips to Who Let the Dogs Out. HAVE YOU BEEN TO THE MALL, AL EDWARDS-D?? Have you SEEN these girls? They do not have to thrust anything. In fact, they could stand perfectly straight and still and their junk would still be spilling out the bottoms and sides of their shorts and small skirts with words printed on them like "juicy" and "sexy" and "hottie". Why pick on the damn cheerleaders? And what type of verbage will this law entail that describes exactly what sexually suggestive-ness is? At 14, a girl could raise her hand in class and give the kid next to her a boner. Did I mention this guy is a democrat?


Blogger Thomas said...

Al Edwards sounds un-American to me. Next he will probably want our all-American cheerleaders to wear burkas.

4:22 PM  
Blogger Sir Craig of Highbury said...

did I mention I am a Republican?

12:49 AM  
Anonymous Old Horsetail Snake said...

You see, what happens is this legislator gets a boner every time he sees these girls, and he's afraid his wife is gonna make him use it. Oh, by the way, the guy is a nutcase too.

9:54 AM  
Blogger Thomas said...

Al Edwards ought to know that you don't mess with anything connected to football in Texas. I think evangelicals would agree with me about this. Can I get an "amen?"

5:07 PM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

It doesn't matter what they're doing or what they're wearing. As soon as the hormonal cocktail kicks in, the male brain is addled with thoughts of girls until the day we die. I've pointed this out before -- big flannel shirts were all the rage when I was in high school and I lived in a cold part of the country, so girls wore gloves and thick shapeless coats and hats, yet I remember ABSOLUTELY NOTHING from my classes. The whole of my focus was on girls. I'll bet Taliban teens used to see a girl in a burka and still go mad for it.

10:39 AM  
Blogger jks_ said...

why do i care if a bunch of girls who wouldn't have sex with me in high school aren't allowed to do what they want? he can make legislation that burns out their eyes with a hot poker for all i care. i think it is far more important to create a law which states that if a chick is going to dance like that in front of me, then she automatically has to put out.

11:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

YEAH!!! wait, what?

6:47 PM  

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