I Want it to Taste Like Kool-Aid!
There is an Englishman in my office that I interact with on the rare occasions when I do interact. He likes wine. He drinks it with probably every meal. He is very cultured and often tries to give me history lessons but I am too dim to follow them. I had a highly intellectual conversation with him about wine.
I:...but I don't really like wine. I want to like wine, but I just can't. It's like olives. I try olives every now and then to see if maybe my pallette has changed without me knowing, but they are always disgusting to me. Wine is the same way.
He: Perhaps you just need to find the right wine. What kind of flavor do you like and I will choose one for you that best suits your taste.
I: I like one that is Kool-Aid flavored please.
He: Most people who drink wine try to stay as far away from that as possible.
Then he just kind of walked off before I could ask about putting Sweet-n-Low in a glass of Merlot.
However, he did tell me that since I enjoyed the smell of leather and a rare steak that I will definitely like wine if I find the right kind. He suggested Schlumberger.
Anybody have any suggestions?
I:...but I don't really like wine. I want to like wine, but I just can't. It's like olives. I try olives every now and then to see if maybe my pallette has changed without me knowing, but they are always disgusting to me. Wine is the same way.
He: Perhaps you just need to find the right wine. What kind of flavor do you like and I will choose one for you that best suits your taste.
I: I like one that is Kool-Aid flavored please.
He: Most people who drink wine try to stay as far away from that as possible.
Then he just kind of walked off before I could ask about putting Sweet-n-Low in a glass of Merlot.
However, he did tell me that since I enjoyed the smell of leather and a rare steak that I will definitely like wine if I find the right kind. He suggested Schlumberger.
Anybody have any suggestions?
posted by Crystal at 2:49 PM
10 Comments:
I can't really suffer wine, either. This is what I say to get wine snobs to shut their gaping pie holes:
"I am allergic to the sulfites in wine."
The sulfites are natural preservatives that exist in wine but not beer or liquor.
Hey, I AM actually allergic to the sulfites in wine!!!!
P.S. I also hate wine
Let's see...if memory serves me right Boone's Farm and Mogen David both tasted like koolaid. But that was many moons ago.
i remember boone's farm tasting like vomit. but that is probably because i threw it up so many times in high school.
i like wine that tastes like juice.
whilst experiencing a drunken phase i discovered Purple Passion -- a 2-liter bottle of grape-flavored Everclear punch that really does taste like kool-aid.
and, if you drink enough, you really do hallucinate to the point of seeing the kool-aid guy busting through the wall.
and in high school, we used kool-aid to dye our hair.
I'm with you. I hate wine, and no amount of trying it changes that. I even did a winery tour and tasting, and I thought I was going to be sick before we were done.
How about sangria? it's got wine, but also juice and other things--and the good kind has big chunks of fruit in it too, so you get a snack as well :)
Do they still make purple passion? if ever alcohol was targeted to children, damn. but it was tasty!
awww-- i LOVE wine. but luckily, i have no true sense of taste when it comes to wine... i enjoy a cheap-o bottle that costs $6 just the same as i enjoy a bottle that's $60. some may call this stupid... i call it FABULOUS!
if you want it to taste kool-aid-like i would suggest whites over reds. a sweet white, like riesling or something? i dunno. i think, if you don't like wine, that's okay.... as long as you're drinking something.
hehe.
Good call, Kimberly. And I'm in the same boat as you as far as cheap/expensive for red wines. Whites are a biit of a different story, but i think it's partially because i just hate most of them across the board...except the sweet ones for some odd reason.
I think a really good gwertztraminer would get rather close to a type of kool-aid. Or ice wine. It's fortified and will mess you up, but it's really good. It's made with frozen grapes and is super sweet.
Unfortunately, I can't drink for another 6 months at least... grr! breeding's a bitch.
Berringers White Merlot is about as close to Kool-aid flavored wine as your gonna get. It's damn tasty and good for getting into fights with your friends or watching a cloud show from your balcony. I'll get us some for this weekend. And if you don't like it it's no big loss cause it's only like six bux a bottle. cheap and sweet, just like me.
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