Thursday, March 09, 2006


Ok, so I read Craigslist sometimes. There is a page for "Missed Connections", which is very similar to "A Shot in the Dark" in Austin. Sometimes I get a kick out of them and sometimes they are very sweet.

The night after Brendan and I broke up, I went out to eat at Barnaby's with Steph. Our waiter was gorgeous and he lit a little spark in me that was the first excitement that I'd felt about being single. I am a firm believer in giving compliments, so I decided to write a "Missed Connection" to this waiter, not hitting on him, but telling him thanks for being hot. He's probably gay anyway. This was over a month ago and I got a response from some guy named Fernando the other day. I nearly peed my pants.

"i'm not the cute waiter at Barnabys but live 2 blocks from is my pic ...if interested, lets have a few drinks :)"

Click on the above link to see his picture.

So last night, Billy and I went to Agora and who should be there but Fernando and all his unibrowed glory.

Ok, so I feel bad knocking the guy. I mean, he is putting himself out there and shouldn't be ridiculed by some stuck up biatch like myself. So I am not making fun of him because of his physical attributes that cannot be helped (EXCEPT for the unibrow because that is just unacceptable). However, the fact that he is basically standing in his underwear with some kind of look that says, "I'm going to eat your spleen after I rip it out through your anus" and the fact that he will just send it to some random girl he knows nothing about and has not seen even so much a picture of is just a little creepy, don't ya think?


Blogger ekki said...

You are hilarious!!! I think you should go out with Fernando. Afterall, he PROBABLY won't eat you.

8:15 AM  
Blogger markis said...

in agreement with ekki, he kinda looks like daisyduke boy, without a smile, and a purse.

8:41 AM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

I looked at the Missed Connections for Minneapolis-St. Paul, and can't say I'm not a little disappointed to discover that no one's looking for me. Thanks for ruining my day.

10:50 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

You're welcome, meatbag.


10:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There was something in the air that night
The stars were bright, Fernando
They were shining there for you and me
For liberty, Fernando
Though I never thought that we could lose
There's no regret
If I had to do the same again
I would, my friend, Fernando

11:45 AM  
Blogger markis said...

i used to have a cat named fernando, he was crazy

i used to have a cat named fernando, so lazy, so sweet

i used to have a cat named fernando, he got run over by a car

i used to have a cat named fernando, the stars were so bright that nite

but someone didn't see him laying in the street.

i used to have a cat named fernando

12:23 PM  
Anonymous bill(y) said...

I have 2 agree with my amigo--there is no excuse for his disgusting brow--very well put, crystal--there almost seems 2 be a bit of cockiness in that photo--da man with the big ol'hair sausage....eeeekkkkkk

1:57 PM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

Holy crap! That is totally outerlimits, Crystal. He isn't even smiling. He looks like a dad who's been waiting up on his kid all night.

I like that you're spreading love and goodwill by calling people meatbag.

9:44 PM  
Blogger Neal said...

If you keep posting all of these pictures of hot guys on your site, I might just make this my homepage.

2:39 AM  
Blogger Erika said...

I once posted a joke Missed Connection. I got several complimentary e-mails from guys who made sure to mention that they were single. I guess they assumed, since I was 25 and female, I must be hot. Silly, silly boys.

12:52 PM  

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