Sunday, March 26, 2006

My Weekend

This weekend sucked. I have had a "best" friend for 12 years, who I love dearly. She has had a tough life. A couple of years ago, she fell in love with a guy who introduced her to crystal meth. They eventually broke up, but she kept using. She started stealing and lying. I moved to Houston and would not tell her where I lived. I tried to help her several times, but she wasn't interested, so I stopped returning her calls. She "got clean" about 6 months ago. I learned this weekend that she just replaced her meth addiction with pills and coke. She has been diagnosed with Bi-Polar Disorder and will lock herself in her room for days on end contemplating suicide. This weekend she came to hang out on Friday night and we went to dinner. She wound up taking 20 Xanex, drank several crandberry/vodkas, blew the manager of the restaurant in the bathroom, fell down repeatedly, admitted to me that she stole her aunt's credit card and bought Play Station Portables to pawn (for $80) so she could buy her pills. I am not used to this kind of behavior and I regretted giving her another chance. I love the girl to death, but I cannot have this in my life. I have too much at stake. I babysat her all night. It was worse than watching my nephews. She was constantly into something, making out with random guys, screaming, falling down. I couldn't believe the bartenders were still serving her!

So I convinced her to get help. Her mom came to Houston and we took her to Ben Taub Hospital (which is a govt. run facility who cannot turn anyone away). We were hoping to have her committed, but they sent her home and gave her a number for out-patient rehab. We stayed in the emergency room for 8 hours. 8 hours in a downtown emergency room is not fun. There was a woman there waiting to be seen who had soiled herself and sat in her own urine for 4 hours waiting to see the dr. My friend got in before she did and called us from the evaluation room complaining about how she felt like a prisoner and she had to wear a hospital gown and that she had made a friend in there who was also addicted to Xanex and was laughing about it. This poor lady would have given her arm to be back there and it made me angry at my friend for being so selfish. Before she got in, I watched her lie to her mother and busted her on every lie. My loyalties no longer lie with her, but with her family. Everytime I cornered her, she would start sobbing and say she wanted to kill herself. Call me callused, but she seemed to be manipulating us. I stole back the money she had left, found her aunt's credit card. and one of the play stations and gave it all back to her mother. I found her drugs and flushed them all down the toilet. I got ahold of her phone and changed her drug dealer's number to make it harder for her to get her pills. When she came to my house to pick up her things, she noticed that her drugs were missing and flipped out.

I can't do it anymore. I just can't. I have done everything I can that I know how to do and she is still lying and stealing and using. I sincerely hope she can kick this addiction in the ass. I love her and wish her the best, but I won't let her in anymore until she is clean.


Blogger Neal said...

Your friend and my youngest sister sound like the same person. I can't let myself be around her until she is back in control of her life. It's almost impossible to love somebody and not care about them....

11:52 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

It truly is. I hope your sister gets better.

11:53 PM  
Blogger jaime said...

That's a rough thing to go through. You're doing right.

5:53 AM  
Blogger Kimberly said...

yes, i wanted to comment to keep supporting YOU in what you're doing with your "friend." it can be an ugly time knowing someone like that and i wish you the best. you are doing the right thing!!!

i'v recently "broken up" with a few of my girlfriends because they're so addicted to coke. it wasn't something i wanted to be around. i need to be brought up, not down... i know i deserve better friends. so, as hard as it was to leave her when she was so low... i tried giving her support and it was taking a toll on me... we no longer speak and she's still super into coke. :( can't fix someone who doesn't want it....

6:17 AM  
Blogger Anthony S. said...

My God. You've had a nightmare of a weekend.

What a dedicated friend you are. You did everything you thought that was good for her. And you are right; you can't really do much more than keep her clean and keep her OUT.

It's beyond anyone's control but hers.

8:38 AM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

Sweet holy Moses, Crystal, what an ordeal! I don't know what else you could have done. I'd want you for a friend anyday, even if I was ripped and thought you were Satan taking my drugs away.

8:55 AM  
Blogger markis said...

i have a friend who was once under similar circumstances. she was fortunate to cross paths with a very good psych ~ who would (metaphorically speaking) give my friend a towel, and when she asked what the towel was for, she would throw cold water in her face and say, "so you can dry off".

sounds like you're doing right by her, hang in there.

9:03 AM  
Blogger Scott said...

Wow, that is very intense. I really hope that your friend makes the decision to get better. From the pepole that I know it takes a lot of tries. I agree with what you are doing though. Take care,


10:08 AM  
Blogger jay are said...

wow, what a hard thing. I can't imagine how hard it would be to see someone you love and care about killing themself slowly. Stick to your guns, though. Tough love and all that. I hope she makes it through.

11:21 AM  
Blogger Vera said...

Hi Crystal...
(I've been reading your blog for a little while now, found you through The Grunt)
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. My sister is an addict. She's been clean and sober for over 2 years now and has done VERY well for herself in the last 2 years. She will be the first to maintain that she is an addict and will always struggle with her addiction to crack cocaine and alcohol. Someone is never ready to make changes until it is something they consciously decide. We all know this. But I admire how you've helped her so far... She is truly TRULY blessed to have you as a friend... but I also understand we have limits. You do what you can and you can only do so much. I ratted out my sister and her addiction to my parents when I first found out... very long story, but it was all that I could do at the time. I wish her all the best. And again, I admire you for what you have done for her.

5:14 PM  

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