Friday, March 24, 2006

Note to Self....


I don't know what your problem is. Before, you couldn't dream about sex because you were committed to someone. Then, when you finally did let yourself go and have dream sex, the guy pretty much kicked you out of bed the very second you were through. Now, neither one of you have protection so you are refraining from dream sex once again.

I am going to break this down for you once and for all. Dream sex is not real. It is not considered cheating and you can't bring any diseases or pregnancy into real life. So stop it and let me just get some. I am tired of you being such a pessimistic obstacle. Don't you think we'd be a lot easier to be around if we had it every now and then? So lighten up, gosh darn.



Blogger The Grunt said...

Try this right before you go to bed, Crystal. I'm dead serious, too. Get a glass of milk and a banana. Sit in bed and eat that banana slowly and think about what ever you want-meditate on it. Don't use too much milk to wash it down or you'll be waking up early.

8:37 AM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

It lasted two whole days, Crystal? I'm glad you enjoyed that one. Your allowed to have a cigarette now.

9:48 AM  
Blogger Ashley said...


that's all I have to say bout that.

10:58 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

Theodore, I think you just wanted to write a post about me in bed with a banana. What a dirty Grunt you are.

11:32 AM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

I'm so busted!!!

Have an awesome weekend, Crystal. I'm calibrating my Psi to stun. Those cigs won't know what hit them. Try consuming a lot of raw citrus fruit. I just wanted to say that. No, it helps some people, though.

Got a lucky fuax rabbit's foot? You need some hoodoo mojo trinket to hold onto when you got to lite up.

7:30 PM  
Blogger Neal said...

I threw my back out during dream sex once, now I don't get any closer to dream sex than dreams about sushi. Maybe you're mind is just protecting you from a muscle pull.

4:16 AM  
Blogger Curly said...

You can control when you have dream sex? Damn, that is a skill I'd like to possess.

The worst though is when you weren't quite sure if you had sex or not last night after the amount of alcohol you drank - oh god, I didn't, did I?

4:46 AM  
Blogger Anthony S. said...

Dream sex sounds like the best kind; unless, of course you are getting kicked out of said sexual dream.

Teach me how to have more dream sex. No commitments, no liabilities, no false promises, no stopping me!

1:32 PM  

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