Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Oh, Gary! Yes!

I stumbled upon a dating issue that I never thought about before. I don't know if I am the only person shallow enough to have this thought or if there are tons of superficial assholes out there just like me. Regardless, I don't think I could date guys with certain names. Like Gary. It's not because I think that is a just plain crappy name, but everytime I hear it or see it, I always have the flashback to Weird Science when the mom says, "It's Garrryy, Our Son, Garrrrry" and it kinda deflates my tire. I cannot see myself screaming his name in the throes of passion and not 1) laughing or 2) kicking him out of my house. I imagine it would go something like this:

"Oh. Yes. OH! GOD! Gary, oh, Garrrrrryyy, Our Son Garrrrry"

See? Doesn't work.


Blogger ekki said...

I have thought about the name thing before too. I would have a hard time dating someone with the same name as my dad or brother. Only for sexual reasons though. See I tend to say the other person's name during intimate situations, so you can imagine how that could be weird.

7:14 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

oh, my God, ekki. i never even thought about screaming out scott or travis. gross. i am going to throw up now.

7:16 AM  
Blogger Lucy said...

Ah yes, the little known dilemma, the importance of NOT being Gary.

7:35 AM  
Blogger Kimberly said...

ah! i loved this post, i too am superficial. i once dumped a guy because he had a lisp. i know, i'm an awful person. anyway... i had a list of names that i didn't like as well (2 of them being my dad or brothers name!) and the funny thing is... one of the names was DOUG! remember that show when we were kids called "doug" and the theme song was "doo dooo dooo doo dooo doo doo do do do do... anyone? i hope someone remembers this, so i dont seem like a complete loser, anyway when doug first introduced himself to me, that song came rushing into my head. i'm still with dougy, and i love him dearly, but sometimes still... i'll break out in the doug song for him. doug pretty much hates it! :)

7:54 AM  
Blogger markis said...

reminds me of a joke; what does a hair lip dog sound like?

mark mark

7:59 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

kim - i do remember that show! was it the one with the dog named porkchop? see, if i met a guy named Gary that was as hot as Doug, i probably wouldn't care about the name is either. :)

mark - ha!

8:05 AM  
Blogger Kimberly said...

yeah dude- dougy is hot for a bald old guy. *wink wink*

8:54 AM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

Well, at least my blogger name is an easy one to do and my last name pretty much says it all. For me, I'd never screw a girl named Helen Bach. Then again, you at least know where she's been.

9:00 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

Considering your first name is The, I don't think many women would have a problem with it. We are all used to saying it.

And last names don't really matter because you only use those when someone is in trouble. Theodore Grunt, were you wearing my pantyhose again?!

9:05 AM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

You know, I just might really change my name to Theodore Grunt now. It has a certain je no se quios, don't you think? But all in all, "King" is the shit.

I just had one of those dork moments, sorry Crystal.

9:28 AM  
Blogger heatherfeather said...

i used to have a crush on a boy named horace.

then i thought about the fact that he was named horace.

9:46 AM  
Blogger Ashley said...

I agree.

The latin lover I was talking about on my blog? His name is Carlos...a much better name to yell out passionately.

1:26 PM  
Blogger Kylee said...

I went out with a guy once his name was John Paul and he went by JP....I think in the 3 months we went out I never said his name to him...it was just too weird. I figured I would have gotten over i eventually but that never came. I can see your point..but I just wouldn't say their name at all.

7:46 PM  
Blogger Neal said...

Gertrude, Barbara (it sounds like something from a soap opera..."Oh BARBARA" or worse, Barbie), any of my three sister's first or middle names, or girl names that sound like guy names (Dana, Pat, etc.) <-- those are all out. My mom's name wouldn't bother me, because she's just always been mom.
Of course, you can get around all of this by just calling everyone 'baby'.

2:11 AM  
Blogger Anthony S. said...

I am sick and tired of women named Chris, Chrissy, Christina, Christine..they tend to be flighty pretty girls with no sense of responsibility or commitment. (Although I am interested in this one called Christy...no! stop!)

I blame it on the name.

I once had a thing for a girl named Sonia, which is my sister's name..and that was just too wierd. She was hot, but imagine moaning that name and thinking of a sib..I can't even finish that sentence.

8:43 AM  
Blogger roxie said...

I won't date Richards (anymore)

12:13 PM  
Blogger roxie said...

I'm so glad I don't have a brother, but Tom would be awfully uncomfortable. Grodine!

12:26 PM  

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