Friday, April 07, 2006

A Million Dollars in Spiritual Peace

So I went on a date last night and, boy, was it fun. I heart me some sarcastic boys who lie to me. Really. At one point, he told me he had a nose job because his nose used to be huge and hairy and it weighed one whole pound and so the Dr. replaced the skin that is on his new nose with skin from his butt. I can identify with that because I used to be black, but had a skin transplant after a firey wreck that killed my biological parents and left me in an orphanage until the mean, old lady - her name was Mrs. Hannigan - who ran the place threw some porridge on me and I broke free and my parents found me on a street corner (RIGHT, mom? For years, my brother had me convinced that I was given to my family by some homeless circus freaks).

He said that he needed a million dollars in spiritual peace. Once he saves up 10 million dollars in spriritual peace, he will move to Barcelona to conduct some type of genetic testing dealing with stem cells and dead heart tissue with some magnets and some electrodes so that he can save millions and millions of people all over the world and take care of his daughters, Daniella and Mariafernanda (which are nonexistant children he had a few years back with a Chinese woman that he never met). How's that for fucking ambition?


Blogger Scott said...

Ummm that is sure something....


10:53 AM  
Anonymous vera said...

he should write movie scripts...

or you should with your ability to put a funny spin on a worrisome date!

verification word: kkeeku
"We are no long the Knights Who Say Ekki Ekki Ekki Ptang! We are now the Knights Who Say Kkeeku!"

11:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Reminds me of a scene from "Geek Love"

He sounds like a total keeper yo.

3:24 PM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

Yeah, whatever;)

7:28 PM  
Blogger Thomas said...

I am sarcastic. But I moved to Seattle. Darn.

10:17 PM  
Blogger Ashley said...

wow. I gotta a little lost there for a second.

Soooo, you must be Michael Jackson's twin or something, right? With the whole skin change? Hey, it don't matter if your black or white!!!

11:15 PM  
Blogger Neal said...

You are an inspiration to us crack-smokers everywhere. Really, how would we make it through those days without rocks if we didn't have your totally slanted take on reality?

5:14 AM  
Blogger ekki said...

It is fun to have that kind of conversation, but for me it can be hard to keep that up for as long as you. You are the master!

6:25 PM  
Anonymous sexylovepit's mom said...

Spiritual peas are good, but they're not as good as spiritual green beans. Love, Mom

7:11 PM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

This is true.

8:54 PM  

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