A Million Dollars in Spiritual Peace

So I went on a date last night and, boy, was it fun. I heart me some sarcastic boys who lie to me. Really. At one point, he told me he had a nose job because his nose used to be huge and hairy and it weighed one whole pound and so the Dr. replaced the skin that is on his new nose with skin from his butt. I can identify with that because I used to be black, but had a skin transplant after a firey wreck that killed my biological parents and left me in an orphanage until the mean, old lady - her name was Mrs. Hannigan - who ran the place threw some porridge on me and I broke free and my parents found me on a street corner (RIGHT, mom? For years, my brother had me convinced that I was given to my family by some homeless circus freaks).

He said that he needed a million dollars in spiritual peace. Once he saves up 10 million dollars in spriritual peace, he will move to Barcelona to conduct some type of genetic testing dealing with stem cells and dead heart tissue with some magnets and some electrodes so that he can save millions and millions of people all over the world and take care of his daughters, Daniella and Mariafernanda (which are nonexistant children he had a few years back with a Chinese woman that he never met). How's that for fucking ambition?