Thursday, April 06, 2006

SLIZZUT

i just read over my posts for the past couple of weeks and i must say that i am coming off like a sexually-active-daisy-duke-thong-hangin-out-wearing fourteen year old who has been given the opportunity to become the road manager for New Kids on the Block (hey-man, that was a golden fucking opportunity in 1990). why didn't anyone tell me to stop typing about all these stoopit boys? you'd think i think about nothing else in the world but who i can go out with or what i can do with who or jake gyllenhaal wrestling heath ledger while they are both half-naked in some field. ok, the last part is true. but c'mon, that's just hot.

the sad thing is when i think of the other stuff i have been doing, it is right boring. i go to work, which i LOVE but nobody wants to hear about that because everybody will think i am a lame-o. i'd rather be a slutpuppy than a lame-o. i think just using the word lame-o actually makes me a lame-o. quit saying lame-o! ok, back to the subject. i fight with an elderly fellow on a regular basis. i go home and clean/unpack my lovely house and watch the news and steal wireless internet and eat frozen dinners and sometimes i go spend the night with Neppanie and we play Skip-Bo and Gin Rummy and Poker with her neighbor. i pet a black cat that likes to hang out in front of my house and meow at the top of his lungs at 3 in the morning.

so all i have to blog about is meeting new people...which mostly consist of boys. and since i never had an "experimental" period when i was 18-22 like most girls have, i think my 18-22 y/o hormones are emerging. however, i do still have my 27 y/o sense so you will not be finding me on top of a bar with my top off. well, unless i convince an older guy to sneak me out of the house and buy me a bottle of md 20/20.

7 Comments:

Blogger Chris Cope said...

One bottle of 20/20 coming your way...

3:14 PM  
Blogger crazy girl said...

You are funny. Nice blog.

3:57 PM  
Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

Crystal, there is NO explanation necessary. You are NOT a slut. I had my experimental phase late too.

Wait, maybe we're BOTH sluts......



Kidding!! I kid!

6:16 PM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

Experimental phase, huh? Why not. And now you have psychedelic dreams playing in your head at night. Who's responsible for that, eh? Bad Grunt!

8:36 PM  
Blogger Neal said...

I think the politically correct term is 'horizontally accessable'.

5:01 AM  
Blogger kari said...

crystal=not slut.

7:46 PM  
Blogger roxie said...

you are no slut and I am Jealous. I did have my crazy phase and it was from age 15 - 29 and apparently the universe is inflicting its karmic retribution. have fun my friend, have enough fun for the both of us!

1:42 PM  

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