Sunday, May 21, 2006

It's true

My week.

Tuesday - Went to the doctor for a physical. Got a lecture about safe sex (don't know why). I have always wanted to be called a dirty whore - but in the bedroom - not in the dr.'s office. I guess she was having a bad day. Maybe she needs to get laid.

Wednesday - Physical clear. See old lady? I am a good girl, dammit.

Thursday - Elevator tried to eat me.

Friday AM - My finger got in a huge fight with an industrial stapler and lost so, instead of saying what I would normally say in a situation like this, I screamed "GEEEEEE! FFFUUUUHHHHH. SHHHHHHHH!" and got a weird look from a Big Dude that said Who hired the retard?

Friday PM - Went to the doctor again. Got the strep throat. I'm surprised she didn't imply I got it from playing the skin flute. I am convinced that it was all part of Stephanie's scheme to not have to spend the weekend quarantined in this big ol' house (she's housesitting - well, we're housesitting now). So we got food from Central Market and watched Office Space.

Saturday AM - Went to Randall's. The lady at the register said, "Ooooooo girl, you looks like Punky Brewster. You just need some pigtails. Hey, Sharmita! Look at this girl! Don't she look like Punky Brewster?"
Sharmita: "MmmmmHmmmm"

Saturday PM....well....this is what happened Saturday PM:


15 Comments:

Blogger Logophile said...

holy shnikeys
Girl, sunscreen!!
Choose life.
And stay away from hungry elavators and bitter suspicious doctors.

12:27 AM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

Damn, Crystal! I knew about some of this but jeez. I'm sorry that you've had a bad run of it lately.

12:37 AM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

And I can do more than IM myself. How about virtual soothing lotion application?

12:42 AM  
Blogger Blur said...

Wow, rough week.
At my site a staple in the hand would be 20 page nightmare of documents and confernce calls with safety engineers. So it can always be worse.

I stongly suggest an aloe party.

3:16 AM  
Blogger goldennib said...

Staplers have evil souls, so always approach them with caution.

6:49 AM  
Blogger Chief Scientist said...

Maybe the elevator gave you strep throat. You shouldn't let them eat you.

And avoid your computer. Computers carry viruses. Practice safe hex.

That is all.

10:12 AM  
Blogger heatherfeather said...

zoinks! at first glance i thought that was a picture of you wearing a bra!

owie - sorry... that looks very hurty...

10:26 AM  
Blogger G-Raye said...

Sorry about that. Most importantly is that your highlights look really good in this picture! Richard would be so proud.....

11:33 AM  
Blogger Hambone said...

Just another day that i'm glad to be a mexican. Yeah mexican!

8:11 PM  
Blogger Clearlykels said...

What a crap week. Get some aloe for that sunburn. This week will be better.

6:12 AM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

All the cool kids get melanoma.

8:30 AM  
Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

vdtulgFucking A!!!

Well, on Saturday our new ultimate behemoth party cooler smashed my pinkie finger between its fat, beer-filled self & its handle and held it there for what seemed to be 5 minutes while I screamed and swore, and kicked helplessly at its immense, immoveable weight until the handle broke, and I was free.

Then later, when I tried to open it to get out a beer, it tore off my thumbnail all the way down to that little half moon thingy.

11:08 AM  
Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

I don't know why "vdtulg" is there, right before "Fucking A". I didnt type it.

11:09 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

oh my, jege! ouch. i think you should stay away from that thing.

or maybe you should knock off the whole making fun of Jesus thing. maybe God is starting to hate you so he is making inantimate objects attack.

1:15 PM  
Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

I think you may have something there....

3:10 PM  

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