Friday, May 19, 2006

Nocturnal Confessions

I never have good dreams of the raunchy variety. If I am being intimate with someone in a dream, it’s usually someone like Roseanne Barr or Al Sharpton and apparently I am all enjoying the heck out of it in my dream and then I wake up and realize what went down and exfoliate my entire body with rock salt and bathe in bleach and then sit in the bottom of the shower and cry for 3 hours trying desperately to erase the image of Mr. Sharpton in crotchless pantyhose. However, last night I had a dream with this guy (a fellow blogger of all people!) in it. By the way, his facial expression never changed from the one shown in the picture. Freaks me out when I think back to it, but I am just happy because I finally got to do it with a hot guy. The deed took place in a big red Ford F-250 in a cotton field somewhere in South Texas - how country am I! But then, I found out that my friend had a crush on him and so I lied and said we didn’t do anything and then she found out and left me on the side of the highway with no money for tolls. Wtf.

13 Comments:

Blogger ekki said...

I have had a sex dream with him in it too! Wtf? Something on his blog must be more exciting than we have been realizing.

7:21 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

Maybe it's the fact that he can speak without using any vowels whatsoever.

example: nhw'n

maybe our subconsciouses want to do him so we can hear him moan without vowels. that has to be it ekki.

did he moan in your dream? he didn't in mine. he just smiled a lot.

7:31 AM  
Blogger Scott said...

LOL That is some funny stuff. What's up with being left on the side of the road, that is a strange component to the dream sequence. Does Al Sharpton leave you on the side of the road?

Scottt

7:59 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

Scott - no, I wish he would though. He always wants to make me a pimento cheese sandwich and cuddle. Bleh.

8:31 AM  
Blogger Chief Scientist said...

I'd say that counts as a conquest. Now get him to send you a picture holding up a sign that says "I HEART ME=MC^2" ... except come up with your own equation, don't steal mine.

Oh ... and send me a pic of you holding up a sign that says "I HEART ME=MC^2" ... just for practice. That goes for the rest of you also.

8:36 AM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

Chris is a lucky man. So, does this mean that some people are gettin' it on with my little red icon? Poor guy, his hammer can't take too much of that sort of thing.

10:25 AM  
Blogger heatherfeather said...

well, he'll probably be happy to hear that - he thinks since he got married he repels all flirting.

at least he's doesn't repel dream booty.

1:08 PM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

Ych, fy nghalon wan! Fe fyddwn i'n lwcus i gael rhyw gyda naill ai ohonoch chi.

I haven't responded to this post all day because I keep thinking that I made it up.

I would like to extend my deepest sympathies to you and Ekki for suffering such traumatic dreams. I'm sure that with several years of intense therapy, you'll be able to go out in public again without screaming. The whole unchanging facial expression thing is especially spooky. Like shagging the Burger King guy.

Heather's right, you've pretty much made my week.

(Also, I wholeheartedly approve of that setting. I used to drive a 1969 F-250)

3:14 PM  
Blogger Logophile said...

The Welsh certainly adds to his appeal, between that and the goofy expression, what more could you ask?

3:37 PM  
Blogger Neal said...

Chris, with Roseanne and Mr. Sharpton, you are truely in elite company.

7:27 PM  
Blogger goldennib said...

People with accents are hot.

5:33 AM  
Blogger ekki said...

I was curious about the Welsh part of what Chris posted so here it is:

"You are being , me heart weak! we will be I ' heartburn lucky I have sex with the one or from you."

I know you are thinking that I am really smart for learnig Welsh fast enough to translate that (and so well), but I had help from here.

8:23 PM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

Uhm. That's some pretty top notch translation software...

8:53 AM  

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