Thursday, May 25, 2006

Too Good to be True?

As much as I stomp my feet and cross my arms across my chest and ward off men for one to two weeks, I always have to screw it up. I met a man, people. I know, I know. What's wrong wit you girl? I can't help it, ok? You need to join a convent. I would look damn good in a habit. Black is totally my color.

I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. What is it going to be this time? Step right up and take your guess, folks!

A) Engaged

B) Married

C) Has Herpes or the weird Cauliflower -looking STD

D) Stalker

E) All of the above

my last option doesn't really fit into a letter. Maybe he will just get me to fall in love with him so he can pimp me out for 50 bucks a pop.

22 Comments:

Blogger Crystal said...

Sorry for linking to that picture. Good motivation to practice abstinence if you ask me.

1:37 PM  
Anonymous denise d said...

OMG!!! EW EW EW EW!!!
Now, if it was a ~TOY~ then that'd be different, cuz then it'd be some funky neon purple or black light or glow-in-the-dark and the califlower would Suppose to be there.
But That Was Icky ICKY ICKY.
WHAT WAS THAT??????

3:08 PM  
Anonymous denise d said...

ohhhhhh.... Genital Warts. EW.

Musta been poking a LOT of toads... *ROTFLMFAO*

3:10 PM  
Anonymous denise d said...

Ok - I blame you for sharing that pic and that making me curious... This guy is probably a lil bit popular...
http://www.richmond.cc.nc.us/MedicalAssistingTechnology/MATImages/doublepenis.gif

Must stop... must stop...

3:16 PM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

I have to pour acid on my eyes now. That's cool about meeting somebody, Crystal. I'll cross my fingers for you that he isn't a freak.

4:29 PM  
Blogger Logophile said...

*huddled and shivering*

I see scary c**ks, make them go away!

As for you Denise, you finished if off, I am now completely grossed out!!

5:32 PM  
Blogger Vera said...

crystal...
that is so wrong!
i... i just... omg...

7:20 PM  
Blogger Chief Scientist said...

Just don't get married to him. Taking you out of the singles scene would be like taking chicken wings out of Syracuse.

7:57 PM  
Blogger Neal said...

$50!!!!! I've only got $21.89. What will that get me?

Oh, and where'd you find that picture of me?

9:50 PM  
Blogger tinyhands said...

F) Gay

10:35 PM  
Blogger Scott said...

Oh my god! That picture is one of the sickest things that I have ever seen. OH man...

On the flip side, I hope that you find True Love and happiness.

Cheers,

Scott

6:15 AM  
Anonymous denise d said...

Sorry :-(

11:05 AM  
Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

Holy fucking shit....they should show that cauliflower STD picture to high school kids.

2:59 PM  
Blogger heatherfeather said...

the cauliflower std gives women cervical cancer.

cauliflower is clearly not good for you.

3:12 PM  
Blogger jules said...

My guess is you'll fall madly in love, get married, bear his unbelievably ugly children which you will have to sell to the circus. And that's my optimistic guess!

4:47 PM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

See, we're all rooting for you.

P.S. I get it and I think that it's a smart move. You are awesome! Let us know how the "test drive" went.

9:10 PM  
Blogger tinyhands said...

Heh heh, Grunt said 'rooting'. That means 'sex' in Oz.

12:22 AM  
Blogger Chief Scientist said...

It means that in the US too. Grunt knew EXACTLY what he was saying.

9:59 AM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

Who, innocent little me??? Gosh!

11:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He's a drone. And by that I mean a robot.

-Steph

3:26 PM  
Blogger Chief Scientist said...

Amen, Grunt. In fact, I rooted for her again just now. That's twice today.

11:31 PM  
Blogger Charlotte said...

The good news is, I'm not hungry anymore. The bad news is, I probably won't ever eat again after seeing that picture, so in a way my death will be your fault. Hope you can live with yourself... :)

1:14 PM  

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