Thursday, May 04, 2006

What is it with you people?

Why it gotta be "you people"?

The You People I am referring to in this post are the men that are trying to hook up with me while you have wives/girlfriend's/baby's mamas sitting at home wondering why you are late getting home with the milk/KY/drugs.

Por ejemplo, I went through the fianceé, the married, and then it happened again this week, which makes me wonder if I look like I would make a good sanchita/mistress/eff buddy. Just so you know, I don't walk around in outfits that come in a bag and I don't wear lacy unitards to the market. I don't approach men and I don't cast come-hither looks (unless I have had a few margaritas, but even then, my come-hither-look could easily be mistaken for i-am-extremely-constipated or i-think-i'm-going-to-puke). I started talking to another guy (unfortunately for him, we have a few mutual friends), and found out yesterday second-hand that he has a girlfriend. This information is a couple of weeks old so who knows what is going on. It's sad to me that this has become so "normal" in our society. It's sad when I am not surprised to hear it. It's sad that in the past two months, I have become way tougher/bitchier and way less sweet/innocent. Now I know where wrinkles and gray hair come from. It's all because of You People!

By the way, I will Pudge-Off soon. Haven't been home in a few days and feel a little strange taking hn pics in my office. First person to tell me what the heck this is wins 5 bucks. Denise thinks he posted the picture upside down to throw us off.


Blogger Vera said...

i think that's a malformed hairy porpoise.

3:44 PM  
Blogger Güggs said...

I think it's his left knee (bottom flesh) with his right calf (top flesh); that or discombobulated man parts.

3:55 PM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

I know that I'm not of this variety, so I'm good.

I still think that this is a picture of a wedgie.

I was starting to think that someone had kidnapped you, Crystal.

Gotta get...

4:33 PM  
Blogger Thomas said...

How can a guy respond to this post without getting into trouble?

4:36 PM  
Blogger Karin said...

It's a sad fact of life, Crystal. It's true that many, many people -- male and female -- have affairs. The older I get the more I see this. Previous generations were repressed and didn't talk about this stuff. It's a real shock.

I think you just need to ask outright before it leads anywhere.

5:19 PM  
Blogger Scott said...

I don't want to think too much about that is... kind of freaks me out.


8:32 PM  
Blogger tinyhands said...

I've seen the picture, but how did he get the beans on top of the frank?

8:39 PM  
Blogger markis said...

if tomorrow wasn't payday, i'd have to take that 5 bucks.

an observation from afar - this probably goes without saying and i'm sure you're fully aware that people who cheat and lie are ultimately insecure. and you seem like the kind of person that makes people feel good about themselves, from just being around you. now, mix all that in with your lively confident funny sex appeal, and voila.

they are no match!

up that bar, weed out the riffraff mi gud sistren.

11:05 PM  
Blogger Kimberly said...

it looks like hairy plump thighs laying sideways....

the boy situation-- there are lots of weak boys, i see you're finding a lot of them. :( i'm sorry. there are good ones out there, maybe they are the shy guys who wouldn't dare approach a woman? i dunno.... i'm sorry buddy.

ps- why is there a pictore of a wheelchair aside from your word verification???

6:28 AM  
Blogger roxie said...

I think it's the elbow pit

11:01 AM  

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