Yep...

G-Raye is moving to San Antonio. Boo. So last night we met up at a sports bar we used to frequent. There was a man there named Bill. Bill is a Vietnam Veteran who got shot in the foot and in the butt. He said he was running at the time. He was being chased by some [expletive] and he was all “Elbows and Asshole”. Bill sang us two songs. The first one I found to be quite sweet. It was called “Oh, Sh*t, Look at Dem T*ts”. The next one he sang, which is also referenced on G-Raye’s blog today was “Lululululucy has a pooooosy like a javelina hawg (oink oink)”. So I immediately asked him how he was able to make that comparison and he said with a face straighter than I have ever seen “I will NEVER f*ck another javelina hawg again”. Interesting night.

I am going to give the condensed version of the drama that ensued later that night. This guy tried to hit on me and his girl got mad and wanted to actually FIGHT me or at least bitch me out. Ok, lady. You should be yelling at your man. It’s never good to have a falling out with a woman who paints on her eyebrows and her husband with her name tattooed on his neck. Scary stuff. But I made it out alive to blog another day. Yay me.