Thursday, June 29, 2006

You're Effing Ditching Me???

I am on match.com. I signed up for it back in February because I wanted to meet people. It was lame. I felt weird about it because I am used to being friends with a guy before I date him and these STRANGE MEN were contacting me WANTING TO GO ON DATES! Can you believe that shit? I realize that match.com is a dating website, but I couldn’t wrap my mind around these men wanting to take me out without even knowing me, so I decided to take my profile down. It wouldn’t let me. “Sorry, we are down for maintenance”. However, I could modify it all I wanted. So I went in there and made up the most ridiculous crap I could think of and put this picture from one of my favorite movies.

So anyway, waaaaay back in February, this guy name Mike and I started emailing each other. He is in the same industry and answered some questions about drilling mud for me. How romantic, yes? So I got wrapped up in everything and quit responding to him. Crystal = Biyotch.

He recently contacted me again and we exchanged numbers and started talking and I decided to meet him. I didn’t think he was particularly attractive, but he was funny as hell and that’s all that matters, right?

I met him at a restaurant. When he walked in, my butter melted slightly. He was a VERY CUTE BOY. I guess he doesn’t photograph well, but he REPRESENTS yo. He reminds me of The Grunt.

He was just as much fun in person as he was on the phone (HE IS NO BA, though, that is for sure). We had a good time at dinner and decided to go for a drink or two or three. Everything seemed to be going well. 11pm rolled around and we both had to work in the morning so he went to close out the tab. While he was in the bar, I decided to go to the bathroom. When I came out, I saw him standing on the opposite side of the bar so I started walking over to him. He couldn’t see me, but I could see him. I watched him open a sliding glass door and jump over a patio railing to get to the parking lot.

That mother f*cker is ditching me! F*ck him. That assh*le. What the hell did I say? Maybe I shouldn’t have told him about forcing a dead June bug into my nose when I was 6. Maybe I shouldn’t have called him my bitch when he brought me a beer. I’m out of here.

So I grab my keys and am trekking to my car, cursing him the whole way. Then I see him back at our table, looking around expectantly.


????

I return.

Me: I thought you were ditching me
He: No way
Me: I saw you hurdle that balcony and high tail it to you car.
He: You saw that? God, that is embarrassing. I was going to my car to get a piece of gum. I was trying to be discreet about it.

AHA! He was expecting to kiss me on the first date! Who does he think he is anyway?

;)

6 Comments:

Blogger ekki said...

Haha, who would ever ditch you Crystal?

10:11 AM  
Blogger Scott said...

I am glad that I read the whole thing there. It definately did not sound like a date that was going to end with a ditching.

Scott

10:29 AM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

He reminds you of me, eh? If I'm becoming the standard for your comparisons of guys, Crystal, they'll never measure up. This just isn't fair for all those poor guys in Houston. The Grunt was born of more precious stone (through pagan ritual). This makes me better than 99.9% of other men and household appliances. You'll just have to settle or make a deal with Odin.

10:40 AM  
Blogger Sir Craig of Highbury said...

Personally, I was a little disapointed in The Big Lebowski.

3:39 PM  
Blogger Neal said...

What a dumbass, he should have brought the gum with him from the beginning.

6:55 PM  
Blogger Kylee said...

Someone recently told me not to jump to conclusions, reactions etc to soon because things are not always as they seem..guess this is one of those times.

9:29 PM  

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