Sunday, July 02, 2006

Dating Tip #7

The Finger Game

This is all about getting the man to trust you, make him take orders from you and, most of the time, irritate the shit out of him. This HAS to occur on the first date.

Place your elbow on the table. Make a fist. Extend your index finger into the air. Look at him like you want to tie him up and flick his nipples. Raise an eyebrow. Then say:

Smell my finger.


Typically, he will refuse. After the second "no", put your finger in his face and say "SMELL my finger". If he still isn't game, change up the emphasis. "Smell MY finger" or "Smell my FINGER". However, do not under any circumstances emphasize all of the words at the same time. That will make you sound desperate and that's just gross. If he smells your finger, reward him with a kiss at the end of the date. If he tries to make you smell his finger, take him home with you.

BUT!

If the guy smells your finger immediately, get up and leave. Who just goes around smelling people's fingers? That's disgusting.

6 Comments:

Blogger Anthony S. said...

If I had known this tip sooner, I would have done better on that last date; alas, I went "outside of the box" and extended my neck, pulled my face forward, jutted out my left nostril, and engorged her finger with my left nasal cavity.

I only made it to first base that night.

11:40 PM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

You crack my shit up, chica. You are smart, really and truly. But you already know this. This needs to be in a book. Call me if you want a ghost writer.

12:19 AM  
Blogger steller said...

the last time i had a date with a guy i met in wealthymen_dot_com.. i wanted to storm off at first when he slid my finger into his mouth but totally forgot about being grossed out when i saw a diamond studded white gold band in my finger when it got out of his mouth..

2:28 AM  
Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

This is how I met my boyfriend.

9:17 AM  
Blogger Barry said...

I am soooo laughing!!!! I would be wondering 'who goes around asking to have their finger smelt?' well, except for little kids.

At least you didn't say 'pull my finger' hahaha!!!

12:52 AM  
Blogger Kieran said...

Genius. I can't see how this approach could backfire in any way. Not at all. Not one bit.

8:21 AM  

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