Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Dating Tips for Men

It is slightly hard for me to come up with dating tips for men. Men are all the same, so it’s easy to tell a woman how impress a man. However, women are complex creatures, each one a delicate flower, each different from the next, who have many different wants, needs, aspirations….Ha. Yeah right. We all want the same thing. We want a man who is cute, smart, funny, rich and virile as a Clydesdale – not necessarily in that order.

I am expecting a slew of comments detailing how wrong I am – how women really want a nice man that doesn’t play games, looks and sex don’t matter and how love knows no monetary value. That is a load of bullshit. I am a woman. I was raised by a woman. I have lots of women friends and relatives. I have been in on enough inside conversations and have had enough experience to feel completely comfortable generalizing women. Of course, there are always exceptions like Mother Theresa (God is her man, there is no competition) and Bea Arthur (who, let’s face it, is a man herself).

Women should OWN IT already.
Men have no trouble being honest about what they want in a girl.

To illustrate my point, I have created a list of choices for men:

Jessica Alba vs. Condoleeza Rice
Jessica Alba vs. Sarah Silverman
Jessica Alba vs. Queen Noor

Titties always win over brains, humor and riches. A few guys out there will pick from the category on the right because they are too intimidated by the left category, but being a pussy is no excuse.

Tip #1 Play Games

Women may not like games, but it is what keeps them interested. Generally, you will occupy more of a woman’s thoughts if you keep her wondering. Don’t call for a couple of days. Act flippant when you speak to her. For Heaven’s sake, do NOT bust out the L-Word within the first month of knowing her. You have to treat the situation delicately so that she doesn’t get fed up and write you off. And if she does write you off, screw her sister/mother/pet. That won’t repair the breech, but damn if it isn’t fun.

More to come...


Blogger The Grunt said...

So many tips...brain hurts.

11:28 AM  

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