Sunday, July 16, 2006

Hey Baby, Wanna Go Halves on a Bastard?

JMJ is the man. He knows how to pick up the ladies. He may even be smoover than Smoove at smooving the ladies. He gave me a little guidance on how to approach men/women in such a way as to make a smoove impression.

Me: What winks and f-cks like a tiger/minx/rabbit?

Random Man: What?

Me: wink

I am going to get so much ass with that line.


Blogger The Grunt said...

So, how do Tigers fuck? Really, I need to know.

11:02 AM  
Blogger Chief Scientist said...

Thanks, now I will show you how to win at Simon Says:

1. Simon says, "Take a drink."
2. Simon says, "Spit it out."

You're welcome.

11:40 AM  
Blogger Neal said...

I'm pretty sure that line would work on me. I don't know how a tiger fucks either, but I'm sure it would fun to learn

4:27 PM  
Blogger tinyhands said...

Ugh, do you have to be so dirty? Why its gotta be "fucking" all the time?

8:40 PM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

Because she's a dirty little girl that needs a spanking from a morally centered man such as myself, Tiny. It's freaky, I know, but I think Neal and Moderator are smartly cueing up, so don't just sit there, get a lawn chair or something. It's just a blog thang, man.

12:40 AM  
Blogger Kieran said...

I saw a programme on Friday called "Big Cats" - a nature documentary about tigers and stuff. So I can tell you with authority that tigresses are generally passive and bored-lucking during copulation, which I think accords with the experience of most females of a species. A minx, on the other hand, goes like a rabbit.

3:52 AM  
Blogger Curly said...

So what would happen if a Tiger screwed a rabbit? Or vice-versa.

That could possibly the best sex show ever, no?

6:12 AM  
Blogger jules said...

Yeah, Crystal, that'll do the trick. Hell, I've found that just saying, "Wanna fuck?" works just as well. Don't get too complicated with these guys.

7:34 AM  
Blogger keda said...

dammit i've never been a good winker. i look like i'm supressing a sneeze.

shame as i'm pretty sure i'm a good shag, but i may never be able to get another bloke to try me out without the winking thing...

bugger it all.

8:56 AM  
Blogger NiolK said...

I don't need no fuckin line. I just put on my best shiny shell suit with the top zipped down to my belly button grease back my hair and let my gold fetility medallion nest in my thick chest hair. Watch the ankle flock to me.

If that don't work it's down to a slick little ass-catching move known as The Electric Boogaloo. You ladies can't resist it.

9:08 AM  
Blogger Scott said...

I tried that one once... did not go so well... damn.


10:58 AM  
Blogger markis said...

oh that'll surely come in handy next time the girl at wholefoods sarcastically winks at me. thankyou, whoever you are!

hey tinyhands, meet lenny bruce, lenny, meet tiny. oh and fuck you!

7:50 AM  
Blogger Humble Beginnings said...

Whoa Man.. The bible never taught me this.... I've so been missing out! ;)

12:03 PM  

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