Sometimes people are funny and you don't even know it
For example, I have this friend and he is funny, but he doesn't act like he is funny. He is also a blogger. I am going to keep him anonymous because I think his readers would be disappointed to know he hangs out with someone like the love pits. I recently visited his house to watch Animal House. He has a very cool place and lots of plans for it. He has a turquoise accent wall which I think is awesome, but then he told me he wants to extend it to another big wall. Men. It’s an accent wall, for crying out loud! I teased him about being gay but this made me realize how straight he was. That and the big chubby in my ear.
Subject line of email: Hey Pookie
Me: I prefer schmookie pookins next time.
He: You'll get what I give you and like it.
Me: You going to paint me turquoise and slap me up in your living room?
He: I think a more artistic treatment would just be to dip your tiddies and stencil the walls with 'em.
Me: That's so unoriginal. Do you know how many men have my breasts painted on their wall? You're going to have to come up with something better than that.
He: I thought that the difference was that for once it wouldn't say "for a good time, call..." next to them.
Me: Is THAT how you got my number?
He: Yes, and I'm considering suing somebody for false advertising. "Good time" indeed. :(
Me: I rocked your world. Don't lie.
He: I'm still surprised that you managed to fall asleep with my chubby in your ear. Not that you'd be the first girl to fall asleep on me, but I am thankful you never asked HOW your zipper got undone.
Me: Omg. My zipper WAS undone! Is ear a euphamism for another body part these days or what?
He: God I love roofies. Doesn't explain why you called me Andrew in the middle of it though. :(
Side Note: Andrew is my boss.
Me: Don't worry honey, I call all of my men Andrew. Did I get a raise? Also, I am pregnant. The kid painted my entire uterus turquoise. I am assuming he belongs to you.
He: Couldn't be mine. According to you I'm gay.
Me: I get more play from gay guys than I do straight guys.
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He: Yeah, not making me feel better. I think the only thing at this point is to come over and get naked. Don't worry, it'll be over quickly and you'll barely break a sweat.
Subject line of email: Hey Pookie
Me: I prefer schmookie pookins next time.
He: You'll get what I give you and like it.
Me: You going to paint me turquoise and slap me up in your living room?
He: I think a more artistic treatment would just be to dip your tiddies and stencil the walls with 'em.
Me: That's so unoriginal. Do you know how many men have my breasts painted on their wall? You're going to have to come up with something better than that.
He: I thought that the difference was that for once it wouldn't say "for a good time, call..." next to them.
Me: Is THAT how you got my number?
He: Yes, and I'm considering suing somebody for false advertising. "Good time" indeed. :(
Me: I rocked your world. Don't lie.
He: I'm still surprised that you managed to fall asleep with my chubby in your ear. Not that you'd be the first girl to fall asleep on me, but I am thankful you never asked HOW your zipper got undone.
Me: Omg. My zipper WAS undone! Is ear a euphamism for another body part these days or what?
He: God I love roofies. Doesn't explain why you called me Andrew in the middle of it though. :(
Side Note: Andrew is my boss.
Me: Don't worry honey, I call all of my men Andrew. Did I get a raise? Also, I am pregnant. The kid painted my entire uterus turquoise. I am assuming he belongs to you.
He: Couldn't be mine. According to you I'm gay.
Me: I get more play from gay guys than I do straight guys.
span>
He: Yeah, not making me feel better. I think the only thing at this point is to come over and get naked. Don't worry, it'll be over quickly and you'll barely break a sweat.
11 Comments:
I understand that is the hottest possible shade for internal organs this year, I am having my spleen done next week.
Funny friends are the BEST!
Don't worry, it'll be over quickly and you'll barely break a sweat.---yeah, that ought to make you want to do the guy.
I know who that was.
As someone on the "I Like You For Your Ass" list, I think you should do all your friends, just to be on the safe side.
Well, huh. Dick in the ear? I'll have to try that sometime on myself. Nantucket Kid!
Your emails are too witty, and you're having too much fun. Stop it, it isn't fair.
now that is a fabulous e-mail exchange. That would definitely make the work day go by quicker.
That is some good times for sure.
Scott
Oh! Your pregnant with a...painter?
Ummm...congrats.
much more interesting than the emails I normally get!
I like euphemisms. They leave nothing to the overimaginative.
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