Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Meeting with The Man

I had to be at work at 7am! Devastatingly early, I know, but I had an appointment with my boss (Andrew), his boss (Bill), and my elderly British co-worker (whom I fight with on an almost daily basis). This meeting was held to discuss the environmental tracking tool we use for our projects.

Yesterday, I was working diligently in my office (a.k.a. doodling, surfing the Internet, practicing sleeping with my eyes open) when the co-worker came in.

C-W: Crystal, I just want to let you know what an excellent job I think you’re doing. You have really exceeded our expectations in regard to this system and I want to thank you for being so flexible when it came to our needs.

Crystal: [throws 50 cents on the desk] You don’t have to kiss my ass for a Kit Kat Bar.

C-W: No, really. The last two people in your position pale in comparison to you. Seriously. They do. You really have made things a lot better for everyone around here.

Crystal: Ok. What do you want? Seriously.

C-W: Nothing. I just thought you should know how much we appreciate having you around here. You can really manipulate that system. All of the men who have had the position before you had vast experience in the oil and gas industry and you, with very little, have come in and really whipped us into shape. I am very impressed with your work.

Crystal: Well, thanks. That means a lot.

C-W: You’re welcome. Oh, and, by the way, on a completely unrelated subject… At tomorrow’s meeting, when I bring up the [thing we have been fighting about for the past three months] to Bill, I don’t want you to feel threatened.


Anonymous vera said...

did you layeth the smack-down uponeth???

7:41 AM  
Blogger NiolK said...

Heh heh. I like this guy. Fuck the other two guys bang him.

Elderly English bastard.

8:04 AM  
Blogger Scott said...

What the hell is that? I would totally lay it down.


8:51 AM  
Blogger Curly said...

Just play it cool until the meeting, then go absolutely mental as soon as he brings it up.

9:47 AM  
Blogger Clearlykels said...

so, how did the meeting go??

10:03 AM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

I bet the meeting went flawlessly and there is a penis sown to someone's forehead right now;)

Good on ya, Chica.

10:59 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

the meeting went well. it was a high level meeting and the stuff we bicker about is pretty trivial so when he brought it up, i told him it was inappropriate and the boss agreed so we didn't have to discuss it.

america - 1
england - 0

11:03 AM  
Blogger goldennib said...

You go girl. Whip that ass.

4:20 PM  
Blogger markis said...

mmm, i love me some kit-kat...

8:57 PM  
Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

Ah, this makes me think of Kevin Kline's rant in "A Fish Called Wanda".....

"You English are SOOO superior arent you? Well you know where you'd be without the good old U S of A? The SMALLEST FUCKING PROVINCE in the Russian Empire!! You's all be speaking German!!! *breaks into song* Deutschland Deutschland...."

3:38 PM  
Blogger Effortlessly Average said...

Goes to show one of the rules I've developed on working in corporate america: when someone compliments you out of the blue, it's usually because they intend to stab you in the back soon.

You handled that one GREAT, or, as they say in Britain: "Brilliantly!"

5:01 PM  
Blogger neilissimo said...

ich bin ein englander

6:24 AM  

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