Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Oh Yes

I was reading this article today at lunch. The title immediately caught my eye because, out of all my friends, I am the one who gets to see strangers’ testicles, gets propositioned by an old man to take part in an “independent film I wrote about a young submissive woman (that’s you, kiddo wink wink) who is dominated by a much older, aggressive man”, and receives letters asking me for random favors – like to move to Ireland so this photographer (I waited on him one day) could take pictures of me and have sex with me.

I have been randomly licked on more occasions than I care to admit.

These episodes have decreased significantly since I stopped waiting tables, but every now and then the freak gods will throw down a doozy for me to deal with. Hopefully they have grown tired of showing me shiny nubby penises and will throw down some good freak who decides to unload all of his fortunes on me and then move to vegas.

That’d sure be nice.


Blogger The Grunt said...

You already know I'm a freak magnet, but I don't get nubbys thrown at me, thank God! I do get people thinking I'm Jesus Christ and Michael J. Fox. Why? I have no idea.

That article was good, btw.

4:17 PM  
Blogger Celeste said...

Great article!

10:57 PM  
Blogger keda said...

yeah i've always been called a shit magnet. same thing but the less polite english version i guess!

its got a bit less recently too. waiting tables was like being in a zoo.

great post and great article. thanks sweets. and good luck finding vegas guy. i'll keep everything crossed for you ;)

2:23 AM  
Blogger jules said...

I thought at first I was a freak magnet. Now I've decided I'm a loser magnet.

5:07 AM  
Blogger Humble Beginnings said...

I attract little kids. No really. When I'm in collar for some reasons kids just find me, follow me, talk to me. Given the history of Catholic priests and kids... I stay the hell away from all kids because I'm afraid of some angry father thinking I'm trying to do something to their child and pummeling me.

5:53 AM  
Blogger Scott said...

I was on the subway yesterday and the guy that was sitting across from me was wearing the loose shorts and loose boxer revealing his junk to all who cared to look. Great.....


8:47 AM  
Anonymous Cash said...

Hey, it was a real movie part. There was a video camera in the room AND I offered to pay you. And I am not old -'seasoned' is the word you meant to use.

11:17 AM  
Blogger Kieran said...

My girlfriend is a freak-magnet. I realise this doesn't exactly reflect well on me, but it's undeniably true. Spontaneous marriage proposals by men on trains has been a theme.

12:25 PM  
Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Men are freaks. Such is life.

12:37 PM  

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