Saturday, Freak Incident 3, 2600 to 0400
I went out with my friend, Ashley, and her friend Don and his friend Fernando (some thug looking business man). We went to Sammy’s, then to Epic (Don is part owner) and then we went to the Men’s Club. Since there was 2 guys and 2 girls, you may think it was a double date, but that is not the case. I barely knew these guys. At Epic, I wound up spending all my time dancing with some guy from Venezuela (ANOTHER Latin guy. I am done! Done, I say, but boy can they dance!) so I got a reprieve from dealing with Fernando. Once we got in the car to go to the strip club, he was out of control.
Fernando: C’mere gir. You needs to kiss me.
Me: No. I am not that kind of girl. (even though I am totally that kind of girl)
Fernando: I’m not either. C’mere gir. You needs to kiss me.
Me: No. Leave me alone.
Fernando: Aw, gir. Don’t be likes dat. You needs to kiss me.
Finally! we arrived at the club and I thought that since there were going to be plenty of naked women for him to annoy, I would be off the hook.
Not so much.
I am assuming he was too cheap for a lapdance and thought he could get this for free. No, sir.
Fernando: C’mere gir. You needs to kiss me.
AUGH! For an hour, he repeated that over and over and over and over and all my strategies for getting him to pay attention to the NAKED WOMEN three feet away from him were lost. He kept grabbing my hand and putting his face in mine. He also tried to get me to have sex with Ashley. She told him to shut the fuck up and pay for a lapdance already, you cheap bastard.
Ashley rocks.
Fernando: C’mere gir. You needs to kiss me.
Me: No. I am not that kind of girl. (even though I am totally that kind of girl)
Fernando: I’m not either. C’mere gir. You needs to kiss me.
Me: No. Leave me alone.
Fernando: Aw, gir. Don’t be likes dat. You needs to kiss me.
Finally! we arrived at the club and I thought that since there were going to be plenty of naked women for him to annoy, I would be off the hook.
Not so much.
I am assuming he was too cheap for a lapdance and thought he could get this for free. No, sir.
Fernando: C’mere gir. You needs to kiss me.
AUGH! For an hour, he repeated that over and over and over and over and all my strategies for getting him to pay attention to the NAKED WOMEN three feet away from him were lost. He kept grabbing my hand and putting his face in mine. He also tried to get me to have sex with Ashley. She told him to shut the fuck up and pay for a lapdance already, you cheap bastard.
Ashley rocks.
posted by Crystal at 8:13 AM
2 Comments:
Yay for friends that rock!
Oh, this reminds me of a story. This weekend my godmother was out of town for her nephew's wedding. The father of the bride was seater next to her. The whole time he was saying stuff like this (you have to imagine a thick Romanian accent)"I know in my heart that I loves you." "You are amazing!!" "I Love you. I want to ask you something but I am afraid that you will be offended." My godmother looks at him. She is already exhausted from all of the other attempt to paw at her and says, "Do you see that big guy over there, my brother-in-law, you go and ask him the question and if he says that it is ok to ask me, go ahead." Needless to say the guy never asked for Tony's permission, but instead has the gall to ask my godmother to have sex with him. She is a 50 something widow who has no interest in being propsitioned by some random guy. So, she looked at him and says, "does that ever work for you?" in a very matter of fact voice. Her sister-in-law died of laughter right there.
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