Sunday, Freak Incidents 4 & 5

Steph and I went shopping and then to this coffee shop to play some cards. Some guy with nice legs was sitting next to us and Steph struck up a conversation so I invited him to our card game. Huge mistake.

[Enter Freak 4]

Him: Didyouknowthatcocaineeffectsthesamepartofyourbrainaswhenyouareinlove?

He was balling the cards up (that is a guy thing – I don’t know why they do that) and he would play them so hard that I feared my cards would shatter when he spanked them down on the table.

Him: So are you guys searching for the truth?

This is in-between lots of head scratching (his own, thank God) and forgetting that he was playing cards.

Him: Oh! Cards!

Stephanie went to the bathroom at one point. When she came back, he posed this question:

Him: So if I was a demon and I said that you had to pay me 50 bucks or I was going to condemn you to an afterlife of torture and fear, would you give me 50 bucks?

We finished up our game before demon-boy could reign fire down upon our lives. On the way to the car, we were approached again.

[Enter Freak 5]

T: Hey girrs. My name Tyrone. You call me T.

He was wearing a yellow shirt that matched his teeth and the “whites” of his eyes. I thought he was going to ask for money because, well, we are in Houston and that’s what people do. He followed us all the way to the car.

T: I jus wanted let you girrs know that yall got big booties. I was like SHHEEWOOOO! Standing on the cohner over there. God made yall RIGHT. God made yall like black women. Yall are blessed! Big booties!

Is that a compliment?

I am just thankful that I did not get randomly licked.