Monday, September 25, 2006

Clever Girl I Am

When I was growing up, I had a plethera of stuffed toys. When I was growing up, I was also very creative. My stuffed racoon was named Racoony. My gray mouse was named Gray Mouse. My hamster's name was Hammy. I even had an imaginary friend named Friendy.

Friendy was a pig with red suspenders and short pants and a ring in his nose. In fact, I was so imaginative that I stole his looks from a book my grandmother used to read me when I was a child - The Owl and The Pussycat. As an adult, I am realizing how warped my grandmother must have been to read me this book. It explains a lot.

21 Comments:

Blogger The Grunt said...

What a great pussy! Oh, hey, we can hit the bong tree while we're at it too!!!

So, I want to know where friendy is now. I hope he took refuge with some Hebrews.

I liked this post, Chica. I am now having flashbacks of my grandmother telling me that Sesame Street was of the Devil. She also told me the reason my uncle's wife left him was that he had a small penis. I'm all, "WTF, gramma?" How in the hell would she know how big it really was? I'm talking full mast with parades and shit. Yeah, she was the one that talked to dead people. Figures.

12:55 AM  
Blogger goldennib said...

I love the word plethera.

3:21 AM  
Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

My teddy bear: Beary
My white guinea pig: Miss Whitey
My brown guinea pig: Miss Brownie
My sole boy guinea pig: Tim

Go figure that one out.

7:28 AM  
Blogger eM said...

My favorite stuffed animal: Hippy the Hippo
Dylan's fav stuffed animal: Walry (yes, a walrus)

children are brilliant, aren't they?

8:07 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

goldennib - plethera sounds so.....vaginal.

grunt - old women can tell. the older you are, the more experience you have, the more penises you've seen. what do you think we women do during sex? think about our man? no, we calculate the size of the thing and compare it to our National Average.

jege - that's funny that you mention Tim. i had a baby doll named Princess Olive Guenevere (i still don't know how to spell it)

em - walry! ha! i can't even pronounce that! however, you can be sure as shit that that's what i am going to name my next walrus!

8:27 AM  
Blogger Neal said...

I talked to two imaginary birds while I was taking a dump. They helped me through a special time.

1:31 PM  
Blogger bronxbt said...

um.. yeah... my invisable friend wouldn't tell me his name.

what does that tell you?

oi.

3:38 PM  
Blogger goldennib said...

Crystal, you're right. It's a tongue vibrating thing.

5:11 PM  
Blogger biffm said...

One of my first stuffed animals was a frog in overalls. His name was "Froggy." I still sleep with "Sealy" sometimes. Can you guess what animal he is?

11:58 PM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

When I was a small lad, our feminist neighbour made me a life-size "big sister" doll. It was supposed to ingrain respect toward women in my young mind, I think. But instead I found it to be a top-notch wrestling opponent.

Thankfully, the philosophy behind it failed completely. I have never once hit my wife with a flying elbow.

2:53 AM  
Blogger Clearlykels said...

See at least you named your stuffed animals. My dolls had the names they came with expect for one and one stuffed animal was named. It never occured to me.

Did you name your car, that could be your truly creative move?

6:09 AM  
Anonymous Preacher Dan said...

Heck, I jus' name everythin' after the Jesus.

9:54 AM  
Blogger Kylee said...

Hey Crystal..now that my fingers are missing I feel better 8)
Anyway just wanted to say hi and since your in Houston out and about..be carful of the guy who is older and plays bass he is BAD news..I know I was married to him and hes back in your town (hopefully you will never meet him) 8)

8:48 PM  
Blogger Kylee said...

Oh yeah and your "friend" reminded me of when I first started going out with the bass guy...snake charmer - be carful, but have fun!!

8:50 PM  
Blogger Celeste said...

I had a puppy named 'puppy'. He was very cute. He hangs out in my closet. He is the only one I can't bring myself to get rid of. Probably an allergen cesspool but whatever.

11:30 PM  
Blogger Curly said...

Edward Lear stuff is amazing! I was the proud owner of the 'Complete book on Nonsense' when I was younger (and it's still around I think). That completely warped my life too, any boat not made out of a sieve usually has my nose turned up at it.

7:37 AM  
Blogger jules said...

I still have a plethera of toys...only now they're mostly battery operated!

7:56 AM  
Blogger keda said...

oh dammit... another reason for beleiving i'm a crap mum.
sod ya.

maybe it's because i'm with jules. sort of. apparently.

4:24 PM  
Blogger Ashley said...

I really just love the yoda-inspired title.

10:57 AM  
Blogger Spacecake said...

Haha, you ARE creative.

I remember when my mom used to buy me those stuffed toys. I've always hated them. I'm weird. I still hate them and my mom still tries to buy me more!

I always stick them in some closet I find place in and then my mom is sad when she finds them and asks me why I hurt them. I don't hurt them, I JUST DON'T LIKE THEM!!!!!

lol.

1:03 PM  
Blogger blog Portland said...

I was super lame with my toy naming too. All of my animals had people names like "Linda" and "George."

1:07 PM  

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