Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Excuses, Excuses

A guy from work asked me to go to the Shakira concert with him tonight. I don’t want to tell this guy that I am seeing someone because I don’t want to presume that he is asking me out in a romantic way.

I called Stephanie and she gave me a list of excuses that I could use:

1. I cannot miss mud wrestling again this week.

2. I am becoming a Jewish Rabbi.

3. I am giving birth to a baby boy around 7.

4. I have to harvest my corn.

5. I’m having dinner with my grandmother and she might die soon. You know how old people are.

6. I am baptizing my cat.

7. I am booked! I have Bible Study at 7 and the orgy starts at 9.

8. I have to feed the rats.

9. I have gonorrheaherpasyphilaids.


Now I have all your excuses Steph. You can never sell me out again!

11 Comments:

Anonymous Anthony S. said...

I think number nine is a good name for a band.

12:47 PM  
Blogger Clearlykels said...

ha ha ha--here are a few more

1- I have to go to confession. I was pretty busy last week.

2- My roommates hampster is missing and my cat looks very suspicious. I have to go to the pet store tonight.

1:44 PM  
Blogger markis said...

don't forget your promise of having to rotate the wheels on the fridge

1:54 PM  
Blogger Thomas said...

Just tell him that you thinks hips do in fact lie.

5:11 PM  
Blogger Celeste said...

whatever happened to "I'm washing my hair"??

6:12 PM  
Blogger Lena said...

How about I have to give birth to a Jewish cat while mud wrestling and then feed corn to my rat?

I like it.

11:12 PM  
Blogger The Hitcher said...

My name is Inigo Montoya. I will let you use my trademark to solve problem. Say:

"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die!"

Is woking everytime I use to avoid the ugly women.

4:38 AM  
Blogger biffm said...

Usually girls simply tell me that they have plans with their boyfriend that night. Then I see them logged onto match.com during what would be our date...

5:37 AM  
Blogger Curly said...

Just say that you and Shakira had a punch-up over a guy last year, the lawsuit is still on-going and you're not allowed within a mile of each other.

6:12 AM  
Blogger jamesdamian said...

um...what tried and true straight man has tickets to see Shakira?

He's a big homo looking for a new faghag.

8:55 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

How about: Shakira? Did you leave your balls in your other pants?

9:27 AM  

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