Monday, October 16, 2006

Apologies

Steph and I went to see The Blue Man Group on Friday. They rocked. Afterwards we decided to go to a bar. We met some guys there and with the hopes of taking one (or both) of us home, they proceeded to buy us several drinks.

Things I learned on Friday night:


1. If both Stephanie and I are wasted, the best thing to do is go to bed. We stayed up until 6am. The bars closed at 2am. Idle minds are a devil’s workshop. We spent the better part of Saturday making apology phone calls.

2. Don’t leave notes on people’s doors. Steph used to wash dishes with her neighbor and we thought it would be a great idea to wake him up. Who wouldn’t want to party with us? I mean, really. We were quite charming at that point – especially when I yelled, “Hey jackass! Open the door and come party! Whoo!” The note went something like this:

Dearest Slimey Jaime,

Please open the door and gives beers cervesas.

Love
Yours Truly
Sincerely

Ok,
Crystal

3. Don’t drunk-dial – especially friends who know your entire family – and invite them over for a threesome even though you have no interest in actual follow-thru.

4. Men from the UK are generally uncircumsized. Yeah, I said it. I didn’t witness it first hand. I didn’t have that many drinks.


We thought we were absolutely hilarious at the time. The next day – not so much. We are too old for this. Way too old.

8 Comments:

Blogger Sudiegirl said...

OH my...I feel your pain. The last time I got completely wasted was age 25, and I assisted in a house TPing.

As in, stood in the yard and threw toilet paper all over the place yelling, "Woo hoo!"

8:45 AM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

No way, you should keep doing this stuff until you are like fifty. In fact, get a donkey to take with you and get him/her drunk too. That way the braying jackass is really a braying jackass, or at least a convenient cover. It's a joke, don't hit me.

I see that I have become a victim of alphabetization. *sigh*

10:01 AM  
Blogger Clearlykels said...

any time I am up past 2 usually trouble ensues. I try to get to bed-- or at least hide my phone from myself.

11:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've gotten the drunk-dial a couple of times from friends who told me all their precious secrets and, of course, loved me for all that I am.

Yay, I am a victim of alphabetization!

12:41 PM  
Anonymous moderator said...

I am also a victim of alphabetization, but it's an improvement. I used to be 'asshole' and now I am 'moderator.'

I must be growing on people.

2:32 PM  
Blogger Neal said...

I'm a geek. I get drunk and email people. That's worse because you can read what you typed the next morning...

10:12 AM  
Blogger keda said...

hahahahaa no-one's safe. i know that of which you type.

especially the uncircumcised british male. i still don't understand why yanks are? oddness.
and that is from experience, pissed and unpissed.

12:48 PM  
Blogger Sudiegirl said...

i think (re: keda's question) in the US it's a hygenic type thing, although you can still opt out of it if you want. It's not the best idea in the world, but hey - whatever works.

i can't read or type when i drink lots, but i remember i wrote a letter to "all the men in the world" when I was drunker than drunk. the next day, it looked like i wrote the damn thing with my left foot, and I spelled "and" wrong.

I can't sing while drunk either. I don't understand how anyone coud.

5:57 AM  

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