Monday, December 11, 2006

Poke out your eye with a microwave french fry…

I hung out with my boy last night. He bought a gingerbread-house kit that we can build together. Awww. Quit throwing up in your mouth. It was very sweet in a non-sickening way. He’s going out of town this week. I am going to miss him.

I told him about my blog last night. I have been hiding that because I am afraid he will react the way I react when I find out the guy I have been seeing spends every weekend playing D&D and shopping for Star Trek unitards. Have I mentioned that he has absolutely no idea what a goofy bitch I am? I try to keep it under wraps because I don’t want to scare him off. It’s time, though. My strategy for broaching the subject was very clever. I will make him think I have a pornographic website! That way, whatever he happens to see will be a relief. Plus, it affords me the opportunity to fuck with him and one of my favorite things to do is make people uncomfortable. It backfired, as always…

Me: I have this website.
He: Sweet! Is it pornographic?! Can I see?!

So instead of my blog being a relief, it will actually be a disappointment to him.

I did not give him the address when he asked for it. I am not insane or stupid.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should have showd him your ketchup video.

8:21 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

i actually thought about it. i am torn. i don't know what happens to me. i don't mind sharing that video with my friends, but when it comes to him i get all nervous. should i do it?

8:24 AM  
Blogger biffm said...

Wow! This is huge! He actually spoke to you. Granted it was only one sentence, but baby steps...

11:05 AM  
Blogger bronxbt said...

hey, i'm 100% blunt to everyone about my 3 sites... i mean, one is my stoopid ramblings, one has my art i'm restoring and nekkid drawings i've done, (giggle) and the other is voting for stoopid fuzzie animalz once a week...

i mean, people need to accept you for who you are, what you do, and what OUTLETS work for you.

i'm a stressed out mofo the majority of the time, and most don't get to see the real me. my sites show people that...

whether it's video, drawings, poetry, what-ev-ah... be yourself

your real friends and potential loved one will be there for you once the "film is over" or the dust settles.


11:35 AM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

I think the comments by the "Wolf Pack" would be what would send a boyfriend over the edge. Is he protective, Chica?

11:45 AM  
Blogger Humble Beginnings said...

HEY.. I'm back.. sorry for leaving. I promise to never do it again. I subscribed to you at youtube (judasIscarot) ;)

so you have a ketchup video. I've definately been missings things....

1:09 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

biff - haha very funny jackass. :P

bronx - i agree with you 100%. however, i do think it's important not to embarrass my family or lose my job. which both are a far stretch, but you never know!

grunt - i have no idea. we've never crossed a bridge where we've had to deal with that. but he's pretty cool. i can't see him getting jealous.

humble beginnings - don't tell God about the ketchup ok?

1:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you might want to be careful because of work and your family, but a boyfriend shouldn't object to your ketchup video. It's actually cute.

4:19 PM  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

You've got a porn site and you're holding out on me?!

That's just rude.

I'm sure you wrote other stuff, but all I remember is something about a porn site and gingerbread. Mmmmmmmm.

6:42 AM  

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