Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Spring Cleaning (in the winter)

As I mentioned earlier, I am going to a Passion Party on Saturday night. It’s like a Tupperware party, but with sex toys dishwashing utensils. Stephanie is bringing meatballs and little smokies.

Mom, you have 2 options at this point:
1. Stop reading.
2. Keep reading and prepare to test your gag reflex for the next 20 – 30 minutes.

I have a couple of scrubbers already, including one that straps to a tongue. Weeeeeee! And another one that is worn by the dishwasher (as in person, not machine). WeeeeeeeX2! If anyone has any suggestions as to better ways to do my dishes, please let me know before Saturday. I am always looking for more efficient ways to get my chores done.

I will leave you with a quote from one of the greatest poets of our time:

You are the griddle, I am the meat
You are the circus, I am the freak


Blogger Sudiegirl said...

Sheer poetry, darlin'.

Do you have a pic of the item you can put on your tongue?

12:54 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

sudie - it's called a Tongue Joy. i think i linked to the site that has pictures of it. It's very small and you strap it onto your tongue with a rubberband thing. however, BEFORE YOU USE IT, practice with it. there is nothing sexier than having that thing hit your teeth in the middle of a session. it vibrates your entire skull. kind of hard to be cute when your eyes are rolled up in the back of your head.

1:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One word: Hitachi.


8:19 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

holy crap mom! that thing plugs into the wall!

2:15 PM  
Anonymous Mom said...

Yes it does! You never have to worry about running out of batteries, and with an extension cord and/or a portable generator, you can take it anywhere. Plus, if you get bored, you can get all sorts of nifty attachments, in a wide array of colors to suit your mood.

That's what I've heard, anyway.


10:11 PM  

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