Thursday, March 29, 2007

It's been a long time since I left you without a dope beat to step to

1. Sorry for the last post. I had some problems with my HORMONES. I'm all good now though. You fellas don't know how easy you have it. Fellas that have to deal with me can subtract a few easy points because I eat your easy points like they are peanut butter M&Ms and then I spit them in your face. Anyhow, the scratch wasn't really a scratch - just an optical illusion. No, it wasn't the Risky Business egg, but now that you said that I can't stop thinking about washing dishes on a train.

2. Speaking of scratches....yes, I effed up my car. My beautiful, shiny car. Why? Because I am a tool. I was at the gas station and was trying to get around this SUV who'd parked all whopperjawed and I scraped the back panel next to the tire on a big concrete gas tank bodyguard thing and got bright yellow paint all over it and I even got some on my hubcap (is that what you call that metal plate on my tire?) but that is ok because it just gives me one more reason to purchase some phat spinners so I can ride them like a pimp. My boyfriend cleaned all the paint off of it with alcohol and now you can hardly tell. YOU can hardly tell. I can always tell. It screams at me every time I get within earshot, "WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME YOU CLUMSY FOOL?! WHY?! WHY?!" My car does not curse. He is a gentleman.

3. Ricky Fitts, will you go with me?

4. I bought 1 red bikini and I am absolutely terrified to wear it in public. Hopefully it will rain all summer long.


Blogger Kieran said...

It will rain all summer in England, I guarantee you.

3:56 PM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

Those are your wheels, or rims if you are all cool and shit. I don't think an Audi TT comes with hubcaps. You could get some nicer rims--spend around 500 bucks per rim. They'd be perfect for polishing in that red bikini of yours;)

9:38 PM  
Blogger Anthony S. said...

I think Whopperjawed is my new favorite word.

12:22 AM  
Blogger Effortlessly Average said...

I was going to say something else until I read the bikini line. I've seen your YouTube clips and now imagining that body in a red bikini makes my primal male brain unable to function properly. Tell you what: you send me a snapshot of you wearing it and I'll tell you if you should present it to the public. lmao.

And what's up with your word verification thingy? I'm staring at it as I'm typing this and I'll be damned if it doesn't read:


Yes, it does! I'm looking at it right now.

7:25 AM  
Blogger Neal said...

Do I get a cookie for guessing that your car was jacked up?

12:59 AM  

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