Monday, April 23, 2007

Focus a moment, Nod in Approval

1. I got mad on Friday. Raving-lunatic-eating-fingernails-and-maybe-even-an-appendage-or-two mad. It was one of those instances where I snapped - not because of the situation at hand, but because Murphy was being a bitch that day. Everything was going wrong and around 5 o'clock, I'd finally had it. It was a situation similar to this:

Sweet, unsuspecting friend: Where is the ripe butternut squash?

Me, on the edge of meltdown: WHAT?!! RIPE BUTTERNUT SQUASH??? WHY WOULD I HAVE A RIPE BUTTERNUT SQUASH? GO F-CK YOURSELF.

It was like that except it wasn't about a ripe butternut squash - it was about a job...

which brings me to 2.

2. I am stressed out and being pulled in a couple of different directions. I voluntarily placed myself in all of them though. Basically, my job (which I am considering quitting for another job at another place that would be more fun) wants to send me to Calgary, Canada for a couple of months. Should I go to Calgary and hope the job at the other company is open when I get back or should I tell them to hurry up and make me an offer at this other company? I don't know what to do. I do know what I want to do and it involves a huge bottle of vodka and a senior citizens home, but we won't get into that right now. I actually want to do some type of social work, but I don't have any experience other than throwing rocks at children. I'm screwed.

3. When I am stressed out, my behind breaks out. What is that about?!

12 Comments:

Blogger Owen said...

Since you're not making up the bit about being sent to Canada, it seems fair to push the other with it. Also, do throw stones at children,and senior citizens,while drinking vodka. People will remember you for that.

3:55 PM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

Tough deal, Chica. The only cool thing about going to Calgary would be that you could see Vera (and you both work for the same company). Hopefully, the company that is interested in you will get off their ass and make you an offer.

Throwing rocks at kids is just good mentoring.

The breaking out on your ass sucks. Does Proactive have something for that?

4:25 PM  
Blogger Thomas said...

Can I get a rain check on your spanking me?

7:54 PM  
Blogger Neal said...

Since the Calgary hockey team has plenty of free time on their hands, maybe you can ask one of them to pop an ass zit for you.

9:07 PM  
Blogger Effortlessly Average said...

After reading this, and remembering what you mentioned to me about my recent nomination... would this new job involve what I'm praying my $100 can make a reality?

Oh, and I just realized you live in Houston too! Although I'm sure you're in the hip, fun area whereas I'm where all the boring people go to wait for death.

7:30 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

owen - last time someone remembered me i got arrested. now i wear a chicken mask.


grunt - vera works there? for the same company? think she would take me out and get me drunk canadia-land style? i am totally going now. i don't use proactive, but thanks for the suggestion!!

thomas - my comment wasn't good enough for you?

neal - brilliant! how's that beard acomin?

effortlessly average - med center, but i did live in the TROSE! weee!

7:38 AM  
Blogger Clearlykels said...

Talk about quite a change in weather. That would mean a whole lot of shopping for you! Do what you feel is right. It does seem that these things work out in the end.

9:14 AM  
Blogger j-me said...

Oh poopy poop! I think i might have been the sweet, unsuspecting friend!! damn me and my incessant questioning about ripe butternut squash!!!

4:55 PM  
Blogger bryan torre said...

I lived in Calgary for 6 yrs. I can vouch for it being a great place during certain times of the year, April-May *not* being two of them.
But have fun anyway.

5:48 PM  
Anonymous Barney Poolboy Pickle said...

I will diffently need to see your behind to know what your speaking of....show me....please,please,please....

6:20 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

j-me...hi. he eated my dirty weinie.

10:27 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

kels - shopping!!!! if only i had the $$$$.

bryan - hopefully they will push it to june. how is june? does june suck? i am not a huge fan on cold for more than 3 hours in a row.

barney - be careful what you wish for...

10:29 AM  

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