Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Love Rocks

We spent the weekend at the beach to celebrate our year of being in love and of him not punching me in the face every time I apologize for my thighs swallowing his refrigerator or his furniture or him.

He rented us a condo and covered it in rose petals and candles and wine and he took me to a fancy schmancy dinner and to a piano bar in the fancy schmancy lounge across the hall where the piano guy milli-vanillied the entire set list by using speakers and every now and then he would remove his hands from the piano and it would still play. He was white and did not have dreadlocks. Although, when he did happen to look down, the top of his head resembled an 80's vag.

We went to the aquarium, which is located on an amusement park of sorts. It's' beneficial to wear tennis shoes to this place because there is significant amounts of walking, but we ran into these folks:

I pretended to be taking a picture of Ryan. We are sneaky sneaky.
This older gentleman was wearing a muscle shirt and his younger lady friend was wearing 6 inch heels that laced up her legs and shorts that she must have actually been born in. Ryan and I promptly discussed the amount he paid for her and their relationship. Prostitute? Daughter? Both? Regardless, Ryan expressed his disappointment that I would not wear these types of outfits for him when we went to amusement parks which required significant amounts of walking.


Blogger j-me said...

My favorite part is Ryan's pointed-toe-ankle-cross.

5:14 PM  
Blogger Effortlessly Average said...

WTF? I thought I was looking pretty good in my muscle shirt! And thanks for totally crushing my love monkey's self esteem. Now I'm going to have to up her meds again. You know how hard it is to get an appointment with the therapy kiosk at WalMart, beotch?

7:21 AM  
Blogger bronxbt said...

holy sh*t you're both magical.

that's really about all i have to say.

8:46 AM  
Blogger Clearlykels said...

note to self: only wear stilettos to the aquarium.

10:01 AM  
Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Next time my mother asks me to church I will have to secure an "aquarium" outfit.

8:31 PM  
Blogger Nessa said...

Well, they want to look special for eachother.

3:29 AM  
Blogger jay are said...

glad you had a great time. what a guy!
...and that outfit---that's always one of my favorite disneyland sightings. makes so much sense, and they look so comfy and classy. yeah.

9:08 AM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

I wonder if the dude wearing the muscle shirt also wears thong underwear.

I wonder if it is possible to do to them the Conan O'Brien, "If They Mated" thing. That would be fun. I think it would even be fun to do that to you and Ryan, just for kicks.

10:30 AM  
Blogger bryan torre said...

I wanted to hear more about 80's vag's.

12:16 PM  
Blogger Left Coast Sister said...

Nice. Did she take a peek in the mirror before they left? At least his outfit is consistent! erk.

9:35 PM  
Blogger Effortlessly Average said...

Aparently love rocks so much that we've been thrown out with the dirty dishwater. *pun intended*

7:39 AM  
Blogger Ryan said...

What is it with guys named Ryan and Jean Shorts?

6:21 PM  
Anonymous MollyB said...

Oh, I think that couple might be German tourists - they look like they'd fit right in on the street over here.

Hard to tell, though, since, as "the grunt" pointed out, you apparently neglected to get a pic of the guy's thong.

6:47 AM  

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