Monday, October 01, 2007

It's Picture Time Y'all!

This weekend I attended my 10 year high school reunion. After my best friend from high school proudly announced that she was a day stripper with a cocaine addiction, I promptly found a booth to shove myself into and hide for the rest of the evening. A day stripper?? Are you serious?? We all know why they only allow certain girls to work in the day: there is more of a chance that a sober client can dodge fast-moving dangling day-time stripper armfat, thus preventing injuries and in turn, preventing lawsuits against the gentlemen’s establishment.

I did, however, talk to several people who were even more wonderful than I remember them being in high school, so that was good. I drank some beer. I saw the guy that put a huge purple hickey on my neck the day before Father’s Day when I was sixteen. I had to wear a turtleneck to my grandmother’s in June. In Texas. That wasn’t obvious or anything. He was there with his wife and stared at my tits the entire time we were talking. He made no attempt to make eye contact or hide the fact that he was directing questions at my jiggojugs. As the night went on, he got drunk and actually “accidentally” touched my other friend's boobs several times. Good times.

One thing that really stuck out to me was the mural that was painted on the wall of the bar. I was a photography minor in school, but I still haven't mastered the digital camera so these are terrible quality and the flash screwed a lot of them up.

Innocent mural, right? Inidans, and some white people who may be Pilgrims, but it is hard to tell upon further inspection because all of the white people are covered in blood, guts and I am sure they have all pooped their pants by this point.

Here are the Indians actually raping a woman/preparing to rape a woman while her bloody child lays lifelessly in the grass beside her.

I thought these brothers were worried about the woman getting raped, but Buddy Dave said that the older one is telling the younger one, "I wanna hit that too".

Here is another rape scene, but this one involves a dog and some hair pulling.

I would also like to point out that if you click on the first picture to enlarge it, you will see an Indian guy hanging out happily making Smores while women are getting raped and children are getting murdered.
Whatever happned to the Thanksgiving and the cornucopia and shit?

This is some graffiti from my hometown. It looks like Brian from Family Guy. Brian has guns and a grenade (and a black thong?). Hey man, the vandals from my hood roll hard, yo.

After the reunion, I went to Stephanie’s boyfriend’s house (who I also went to school with) and found this hanging in the bathroom:
Apparently, Aaron got pops in high school for juvenile behavior including “Farting” and picking boogers and then wiping them on each other or the desk.

As long as we’re doing pictures, I saw this guy on the road the other day. His friends probably thought they were being funny when they posted a sticker on his tailgate and wrote in black sharpie “Soy gay” which, if you don’t know Spanish, translates into “I am joto”.

Here is another picture of a car I took that parks in my garage:

I bet he has huge balls.


Blogger Effortlessly Average said...

Lt. Wang? So when you salute him, do you have to drop your pants first?

1:02 PM  
Blogger Nessa said...

There's just so much fun stuff here, I don't know where to start.

1:55 PM  
Blogger tinyhands said...

For those readers not from the South, please note that Aaron's punishment ("Aaron chose: licks") is exactly as fun as it sounds. No puppies were were harmed in the filming of this episode.

7:25 AM  

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