Tuesday, May 06, 2008


Gena texted me today and told me that my favorite band was on The Hills last night and I was all WHAT?! and so I was like "well, it was just their music right? like the intro to one of their songs, right?" and Gena was like, "no. audrina was all 'ur voice is really great! u r so good!' and then Lo and LC were all 'yeah! u guys sound great!" and frankly, i am a little pissed. I don't know why as I shamelessly shove their CDs into the faces of every friend I have in hopes that they will too enjoy screaming and pumping their fist in their cars on the way home because it is so fucking rad. but LC? Lo? Audrina? why are you selling out, Matt and Dan and whoever the drummer is?? derrick? ok. i know i am not one to talk. i mean, your gas prices?? yeah, all my fault. i am a corporate hor. but seriously, if i go to their show on July 21st and see Heidi Montag's fashion line, I am totally going to quit fantasizing about having several children with Matt and Dan who will all be born with tattoo sleeves and lisps. That'll show them.

The saddest thing is that I totally know who heidi and audrina and lo and LC are. I am screwed. I may as well get the balls cut off my face, buy some boobs and bone brody jenner.

Alkaline Trio


Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Nothing is sacred.

The Hills is like freaking VD. It's everywhere.

3:05 PM  
Anonymous Porty said...

So am I to understand that since I don't know who you're talking about: LC? Lo? Audrina? etc. So you're saying that since I don't know who these fine actors are that I'm okay and that I don't need to have the balls cut off my face? Cuz that's good, I quite like them where they are.

4:58 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

LOL!! I refuse to watch that show....REFUSE!!! I cannot stand those girls....they are EVERYWHERE. And WHY? Cuz they are spoiled little rich girls?...ugh!

4:15 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

pants - oh god. i hope they don't invade my genitalia.

porty - you are still pure. please, always stay that way. the balls on your face are quite beatiful.

beth - i wish i had the willpower you had because even though i disagree with 95% of the shenanigans that go on in that show, i am still at work with my friends going "OMG! did u c LC last nite?? wat a huuch!"

6:39 AM  
Blogger Amanda said...

I have an even bigger problem. I grew up going to school with Brody and his older brother was in my grad class. I am not supposed to watch this show. Yet... I know everything about it. Horrible. Not acceptable.

8:45 AM  
Blogger bronxbt said...

i'm confused.

you have balls?

*hee hee hmmm*


10:37 AM  
Blogger Clearlykels said...

I tried to watch it. I liked two minutes.

12:21 PM  
Blogger Jamie said...

I'd bone Brody Jenner:)

6:48 PM  
Blogger Christie said...

So it's you I can blame for it costing $75 to fill up my tank. When I still had over a quarter of a tank left. You suck.

And The Hills Whores suck. I can't stand that show.

2:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I so didn't understand anything.

Am I getting old?!?!


9:14 AM  
Blogger Neal said...

This made my eye twitch until it fell out.

6:53 AM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

I think I just saw a dog and a cat 69'ing each other. What is happening to this world that we live in?

11:30 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

um...where the heck are you? You haven't posted in FOREVER!!!!

4:18 AM  

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