Tuesday, June 10, 2008

what it's like (psh psh psh psh) havin a roni

Why I Love My Family
Sunday I went to see Sex and the City with the ladies in my family. Upon leaving the theatre, I exclaimed, "Did y'all see that penis?!" I don't know how they could have missed it. Not only was it the size of a husky toddler arm, I called attention to it by sucking in my breath, letting out a very audible OHHH! MYYYY! GOD!, and frantically hitting the ladies on either side of me and pointing at the screen. My grandmother shrugged her shoulders and said, "I've seen so many dicks in my lifetime, it doesn't even phase me."

And this is why I want to grow up to be just like my gramma.

Why I Love My Boyfriend
He is in Canada right now freezing his perfectbubbleass off. I was reading the news and found this picture of a pack of cigarettes sold there.

We had the following email exchange:

Me: Do they really have ads like this on cigarette packs in canada?

He: They sure do. My favorite is the fetus covered in tar!!


Blogger bronxbt said...

ohh mah gawd that is jes' wrong.

sooo, i'll be in austin frmo sat-monday.

make the road trip and come see me!

i need to drink, heavily at least sunday night! i don't know the area at ALL, and i'll be there all weekend sitting on my arse waiting for a monday AM trade show booth set up!

email me if you can! hee hee!
i'll buy you a steak and booze!

9:15 AM  
Blogger The Grunt said...

What was that penis attached to, a Shetland pony?

9:47 AM  
Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Fetuses are hilarious.

11:02 AM  
Blogger Effortlessly Average said...

Now you've made me have to Google "husky toddler arm." C'mon, is that kind of thing really useful? I mean, as a woman, would you want people to know you could take something like that? heh.

1:07 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

OMG!!! How funny!!! "as a woman, would you WANT people to know you could take something like that?"!!!!!!! HA!

I gotta get to that movie!

7:40 AM  
Blogger Improgging Fool! said...

The movie is definitely on the list. But I think I'd like to see it with your Grandma!

Stop on by if you need any interesting blog fodder...


8:00 AM  
Blogger bronxbt said...

hey girl,
come on over and check out my last 2 postings.
i have 2 videos of silly-retardedness in animal form you'll likely enjoy.

take care!
i'll be enjoying TEXAS weather by tomorrow night! 3 days in Austin for a tradeshow. (HITEC)


11:18 AM  
Blogger Crystal said...

bronx - i would have but it was father's day! i hung out with the pops! hope you had a blast. austin is rad.

grunt - mmm. i wasn't paying attention. penis is penis, dude. i'm happy to see it all.

melliferous - i know, right? want a cigarette?

e.a. - eh, it would free both of his hands and one foot up to play with other parts of my body. heh.

beth - make sure you pay attention during the shower scene. you can miss it because all the light is on his butt.

i.f! - improg sounds awesome. i will definitely check it out.

10:24 AM  
Blogger SassyAssy said...

It was a mighty fine penis! I believe that I had the same reaction!

3:15 PM  

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